Love Me Harder✔

four

I stayed there on his bed, not saying anything. I was going to say something but Stephen beat me to it, "You don't need to say anything. It's alright, really. I know you're in love with Derek and you aren't ready to be in a relationship with anyone else for that matter, but I am always here for you Darce. I always was no matter how much of a asshole I was to you. Anyway go take a shower, I'll take you to get breakfast and then take you home."

Stephen then walked out of the room. shutting the door behind him. As I sat there staring at the door, one question kept running through my mind: What the fuck just happened?

***

It was probably two in the afternoon when I finally walked through my front door. I knew I was in deep shit already since there were over fifty text messages from my dad and uncles and about a hundred missed calls from everyone. I tried to stay quiet when I walked through the door, though but as soon as it slammed shut, everyone's eyes turned to me. 

In my living room sat my dad, uncles, aunts, and of course, LJ and Derek. Dad was pacing around the floor and when his head turned to look at me, I saw the fury in his eyes.

"And where the fuck have you been?!" He shouted, making me flinch back a bit.

Uncle Liam came over and placed a hand on dad's shoulder, "Mate, calm down. You're scaring her."

Dad chuckled, "I don't care. I want an answer and I want one now. Where the fuck have you been? Do you know how worried I was about you? What if something bad happened? There are bad people in this world Darcy! How many times do I need to remind you of that?"

I looked over at Uncle Liam, but he simply shook his head and looked away from me, "I was out."

Dad scoffed, "Yeah, out. Where does this 'out' consist of?" 

I frowned, "Like you care?"

Uncle Louis looked over at me, his eyes wide with worry and regret. For me or for himself? "Darcy Styles, do not have an attitude like that with me. You are grounded from here and until further notice. I am taking away your phone and your iPad. You are not allowed outside of this house unless you are going to school or coming with me. I am sick of your behavior lately. Just because Derek broke up with you doesn't mean you need to act like this."

Dad was fuming, I have actually never seen him this mad before. I looked over at Derek whose eyes were filled with worry and love? I'm not sure. " Oh, right, I'm just a stupid white rich girl. You need to stop controlling my life! You don't own me!"

"Controlling your life? As long as you live under my house you live by my rules, understood? If your mother was here you wouldn't even be acting like this let alone walk out of the house dressed like that."

I blew up, "Stop bring up mom with every conversation we have! She's dead! She killed herself! Do you not understand that? She's gone and she's never coming back! Get over her and get over yourself! Go out and love someone else because she's dead. Do you not understand that? She killed herself because of you! I bet everything was because of you, wasn't it? Were you the reason why Landon died too? Yeah, you went out drinking and drowning your sorrows while mom was home alone with me. Of course she would have killed herself. You're pathetic. I hate you. You can't control me anymore."

The look on my dad's face broke my heart into pieces. His face was pale and tears were streaming down his face but in the moment, my anger took over and I didn't care what was being said. I quickly stormed by everyone and out the back door. I ran like my life depended on it. I ran into the woods and I ran away from the people that actually cared about me. I ran from my problems. 

I realized Dad isn't the pathetic one, I am. 

***

It was cold outside. Rain had started pouring down about an hour ago. My legs were numb and my hair was drenched. My teeth were chattering and I couldn't feel anything. I let the rain numb me because that's the only thing that made the aching in my head and chest go away. I stayed in the forest near the river. It was usually beautiful around here but with the rain coming down, the beauty was washed away and replaced with mud.

"Darcy?" I moved my head around and saw who the person was. It was Uncle Zayn. I was actually surprised because he isn't usually the one to help people fix their problems.

"It's cold out here, you know." He said, sitting down beside me and letting the rain soak him.

"I know."

"Then why are you out here?"

I sighed and wrapped my arms around my legs, "Because it's numbing my body, my heart, the hurt I feel."

Uncle Zayn sighed, his breath visible in the air, "What you said back there, that was uncalled for."

I frowned, "I know. I'm sorry."

He looked at me, "Sorry won't fix anything. You don't understand how mad I am at you right now."

I laughed, though it didn't hold any emotion in it, "You're mad at me? He's probably overreacting. He needed to hear the truth."

Uncle Zayn looked at me, shock evident on his face, "What has gotten into you? Why are you saying these things?"

I looked ahead, watching the rain hit the ground, "Because I know the story of mom and him. I know what happened, he needs to move on."

Uncle Zayn shook his head, "You don't know anything. You know nothing Darcy because you were a baby when all that happened. You weren't even supposed to be born. Let alone have a twin. What you said, broke your father even more. How would you like it if you came home one day to find your wife, or Derek, in the bathtub with slit wrists? You weren't there when he found her body, none of us were. He still has nightmares about that night. He had to go to therapy because every time he closed his eyes he only saw red. You don't know the full story Darcy."

I sighed, "I know enough."

That made Uncle Zayn mad because he began to yell, "You know nothing! I and all the others were the ones to help him pick up his broken pieces. You can never get over what he saw, Darcy! You will never understand because you're just some naive little girl who thinks she knows what love is. You don't! You're acting immature and stupid right now because your high school fling broke up with you. Wake up Darcy! This is reality. What you said about Landon? That was uncalled for too. He died because his imbecilic cord was wrapped around his neck. Your mother blamed herself because she thought she could have done something different when she couldn't have! Calling your father pathetic was just amazing. Way to make the man feel even better about himself. The only pathetic person here is you!"

Uncle Zayn ran his fingers through his hair, "I can't even look at you anymore because I might say something else that I might regret. I hope you get sick for staying out here. I don't care if you have a broken heart because Harry has it worse. He saw the body and the blood and everything, alright? I bet you didn't know how many times he tried to kill himself because of what happened with her. Did you know he still cuts himself?  I caught him last week doing it but you wouldn't notice but you're too 'heartbroken'."

I opened my mouth to speak but Uncle Zayn beat me to it, "Don't even say anything, you've said enough. I need to get back and break down his door to make sure he doesn't attempt to kill himself again because you opened up some deep shit. I hope you're happy."

I watched Uncle Zayn walk away, letting his words sink in. What did I get myself into?

________________________

That was....wow. So thoughts? 

Song of Chapter: Close by Nick Jonas