why me?

VII

The door slowly opened, revealing Namjoon on the other side. Jungkook glanced behind him and quickly turned back after he saw Taehyung hiding behind Namjoon.

Seokjin slowly stepped forward, bowing slightly. "Hello, Bang PD-nim, Sejin-ssi. Jungkook..."

Sejin held up his hand. "Sit down Seokjin, don't talk yet", he managed a small smile, though he still felt angry.

Seokjin looked down and nodded, sitting down in one of the chairs on the other side of the room. Yoongi nervously followed him, though he smiled when Jungkook winked at him.

Once everyone was seated Sejin spoke up. "We're here today because we need to talk to each other. To understand what Jungkook feels, and to change your behavior. Please stay silent until Jungkook finishes talking, okay?"

The others nodded silently, though Taehyung seemed particularly uneasy. He was fidgeting with his hands and bouncing his leg, his eyes shooting around the room. Jungkook felt worry fill his chest, though he decided to ignore it.

"Well... I don't know how to start...", Jungkook thought for a moment. "Jus' say what chu- you want", Yoongi corrected himself and smiled. Jungkook nodded and smiled at Yoongi. He had already explained to Sejin that Yoongi was on his side earlier. The man nodded and smiled. "Go on Jungkook."

"I, uh... I found out I am a little when I was 16, I think? For me, it was a good and safe way to cope with stress, because... My parents never liked me, my brother was always better."

Jungkook gulped and took a deep breath. He stared at the ground for a few seconds before he continued, not wanting to tell them everything in detail.

"A year later or so, they came home early and found me. Mom started screaming and d-dad said I'm a filthy animal a-and they kicked me out of the house and-"

Sejin placed a comforting hand on Jungkook's shoulder. "It's okay, want me to continue from here?"

Jungkook nodded and sniffled softly, feeling the stares from the others.

Sejin stared at Namjoon, making the young leader uneasy.

"I found him on the street. He was shivering and drenched, stumbling over his own feet. I picked him up before he fainted and took him home. I took care of him because his parents did not want to. That's how Jungkook ended up here, at Bighit. I handed him my business card a few weeks before that, and offered him to live in the trainee dorm since he didn't have a place to stay."

Taehyung bit back tears as he stared at Jungkook. "Why didn't you tell us? If I had known..."

Jungkook sighed and rubbed his eyes, willing the tears to go away. "Because I'm terrified of rejection, hyung. That's why I'm scared of messing up, why hate comments affect me more than you, it all reminds me of my parents."

Hoseok was the one to answer this time. "Jungkook, I... We... We're so so sorry, I can't imagine how we must've made you feel..."

Bang PD sighed. "A sorry isn't going to solve this, boys. We have to work on the new album and promotions. So, Jungkook, what can we do to solve this mess?"

Jungkook bit his lip and looked around. He felt his heart clench as he noticed Jimin silently crying, hiding in the back behind Namjoon. Hoseok was holding the younger boy's hand, trying to cheer him up a bit.

Jungkook looked around again and saw Jin's hand pulling Taehyung's left hand away from his other one. Jungkook frowned, confused as he didn't know what was going on until he saw a flash of white bandages.

He made a note to himself to talk to Taehyung about it later. Sejin rubbed Jungkook's back again, and the younger snapped out of his thoughts.

"uhh... I think I can go back to the dorm, but... Please be mindful of your words'', he said softly.

Namjoon nodded and Seokjin smiled, obviously a bit relieved. "Of course Jungkook, we love you. I know we hurt you, and I'll do anything to make it right again. We'll always take care of you, no matter what."

Jungkook however interrupted him. "No... I still want Baekhyun to be my main caregiver, if that's possible?", he turned to Bang PD, who nodded.

"You might not always be able to meet up, because of both of your schedules, but we'll work something out."

Jungkook sighed as he saw Seokjin's slightly hurt expression, though the eldest quickly covered it with a fake smile. "Okay, that's okay. I understand that we've lost your trust Jungkook, it's okay."

Jungkook nodded and smiled slightly. "Thanks, hyung, for understanding."

Sejin smiled softly at the boys and got up. "Well, I think we're done here then. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you, boys."

Namjoon got up as well and nodded. "Yes sir, thank you", Namjoon's voice was soft and unsure, something Jungkook wasn't used to from their smart and dedicated leader. Namjoon shot the boy a smile. "Let's go, Jungkook. Let's go home"

—

The ride home went surprisingly calm. Everyone tried to catch up with Jungkook, though Jimin mainly just clung onto the boy and showered him with hugs and kisses on his cheeks. Jungkook smiled softly and let him, finally feeling at ease again.

Once they got out of the car Taehyung rushed off to his room. Jungkook frowned slightly.

Yoongi noticed the frown and took Jungkook with him to his room. "What's wrong, Jungkook? Are you sad? Who do I need to beat up?" Jungkook laughed as Yoongi pulled him down onto his bed, hugging him tightly.

"I'm fine hyung, I'm happy. It's just... What's going on with Taehyung? He looked so sad and nervous, and there were bandages on his hand!"

Yoongi sighed and nodded. "We don't really know what happened... He locked himself in his room a few days ago. When Hoseok went to get him for dinner he came out with puffy eyes and his hand was all messed up. I think he punched the wall pretty hard..."

Jungkook looked confused. "Why would he do that?! Why would he intentionally hurt himself like that and not ask for help?"

Yoongi shrugged. "I have no idea. He has been really silent after that, he even refused to talk to Jimin about it. Maybe you should talk to him about it?"

Jungkook snuggled closer to Yoongi and nodded. "Mhm... I'm worried, do you think it might be my fault?"

Yoongi huffed and pulled back from their hug, squishing Jungkook's cheeks. "No, no no no! Of course it isn't your fault. You did absolutely nothing wrong", Yoongi pouted, making Jungkook laugh softly.

"Okay okay, I was just wondering..."

Yoongi let him go and hugged the boy again. "It'll be okay, just talk to him about it tomorrow or something", he said softly, noticing that the younger had closed his eyes.

Jungkook nodded sleepily and whined softly. Yoongi cooed and kissed the top of his head.

"Get some rest Jungkook, you did well. Hyung is so proud of you."