BONNIE AND CLYDE

Chapter 15 B&C💜💛

"I couldn't even carry a baby for nine mouths what does that makes me, I feel hopeless so empty mom, I didn't even tell Shawn.....OH God he's going to hate me!"

"No Beyoncé don't talk like it"

I sighed heavily "it's the truth though, how am  I supposed to tell him I lost his baby that I never even told him about."

"It's not like you did it on purpose, you were going to tell him."

"Yeah well" I wiped at my damp eyes "it's little too late for that now."

"don't blame yourself, you couldn't have known this was going to happen."

"Mama please... I should have told him when I first found out instead I was stupid and selfish he doesn't deserve this he already lost a child, and I'm supposed to look him in the eyes and tell him I lost his child, that he didn't know about that would break his heart." More tears rolled down my cheek and I didn't even bother wiping it away cause at this point it's gonna keep falling.

"Beyoncé, from what you have told me it seems like he cares and loves you deeply and loves Conquers all."

"Yeah well this seems unconquerable."

She placed a kiss on my crown; "You'll get through this because you're a strong woman, so don't think like that, you'll get through this." She said running her hands up and down my back in a soothing caress.

I pulled back to look into her eyes as I spoke.
"I don't want to lose him, mama. I can't lose him," I explained through tears.

She sighed, hugging me tighter. "Everything is going to be okay. God got you, Baby, You need to process it and go through it." I rest my head on her shoulder, letting her words consult me.

"Hey ladies" Dr. Taylor greeted walking into the room.

I brushed away my tears "Hey dr. Taylor" I lifted my head off my mom shoulder.

"Hi Dr. Taylor" my mom spoke.

Dr. Taylor stooped at my bedside and smiled softly. "Hey Beyoncé, glad to see you're up" I nodded my head affirmatively, and she smiled "how are you doing?"

"I'm fine" I lied even though I was nothing, but.

"Are you feeling any pain, stomach cramps or anything?"

"My stomach is cramping a little."

"Okay, that's okay. We will give you some more medication."

I slowly nod my head. "Thank you. When can I go home?"

"You'll have to stay for another day, or two, but then you will be cleared to go home."

"Hopefully, tomorrow, I can't stand to be in this hospital another day."

"Beyoncé" Dr. Taylor reached over grabbed my hand squeezed it lightly "I know this is difficult, I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now, but I want you to not blame yourself for this, it's not your fault."

"Why does it feels like There's something that I did to cause me having a miscarriage.... that I could have stopped it if I had just pay more attention" I swallowed back the sudden surge of emotion, the lump in my throat becoming unbearable.

"These things happen there is nothing you did or didn't do miscarriage happens all the time and there are many factors that plays into that, you can't control the outcome."

"It's just too much to come with terms with" I sighed softly.

"Beyoncé..don't go blaming yourself.....I know it hurts like hell right now, but you will get through it. This pain, emptiness, and numbness you're feeling right now are not going to last forever. Even though it feels like it." she said, looking me straight in the eyes.