His New Beginning [MCU Loki]

5: Dreams

Nyssa woke up sobbing about an hour into the night.

Loki was awake immediately. "Nyssa?"

No response. He got off the couch and walked over to the bed. "Nyssa?"

She took a few shaky breaths, trying to stop the tears.

"Are you alright," he asked.

"Yeah," she finally said. "It's nothing. Go back to sleep."

He ignored her and sat down next to her. "Don't tell me it's nothing. As you said, we're going to be stuck here forever. Might as well talk about it."

"Go back to sleep," she insisted. "I'll tell you in the morning."

"I'm wide awake and so are you. You'll sleep easier after you get this off your chest."

Nyssa let out a bit of a laugh. "You know, you are annoyingly stubborn, in a...objectively speaking, endearing way."

Loki smirked. "Touche. I use your words, you use mine." He picked up the blanket that had fallen to the floor and wrapped it around her shoulders. "So, what's wrong?"

"It was...a nightmare. But I think it could be more than that...a memory."

"I see. What was it?"

"A funeral. I'm pretty sure it was my mother's. A man...probably my father...got drunk and started yelling at me. He said it was my fault she died. Then I said it couldn't be my fault since she died from cancer...Then it was a totally different time. We were...it must have been our home. My father was drunk again. I stayed out of his way until he passed out and then I ran away...Then I woke up."

Loki was silent for a moment, wrapping his arm around her shaking shoulders.

"Dreams," he began hesitantly, "are created by your subconscious. So it's possible some of that was only a nightmare. I don't know how much of that was real, but I would advise you not to dwell on it."

"Loki?"

"Yes?"

"What part do you think was real?"

He sighed. "Nyssa, I really couldn't say. I know nothing about your past. My guess is as good as yours."

"Please, I'm sure you have a good guess. You're good with mental stuff. I'm not. Please?"

Loki looked at her pleading eyes. "Well, don't put too much faith in this. It's only a guess. I would think your father blaming you would be a reflection of your own feeling of guilt about her death, and your defense was another part of you trying to convince yourself you had nothing to do with it. The rest is probably real."

She sighed, though he couldn't quite tell if it was relieved or sad, leaning onto his shoulder. "Do you think you could try to find my memories? If they're buried in my subconscious, maybe you can bring them back."

"Nyssa..." he said, rubbing her back gently. "Everything we've figured out about your memories leads me to believe they were hidden for a reason. You remember everything you ever learned or read. The only ones missing are the personal ones. From this one nightmare, it seems like your personal life was really painful. Maybe...maybe someone was trying to protect you from your past."

She looked like she was going to argue, so he continued a bit louder.

"In the past few days, you haven't shown even the slightest hint of sadness. Right now, after one glimpse into your past, you're suddenly desolate. I just..."

"You're right," she sighed. "I don't want to be a mopey mess."

"You should try to get some real sleep. I can give you some normal dreams so you sleep better if you'd like."