I Take Pride in What I Am (Fairy Tail: Fraxus & Loray)

Ghost

She died because of him. And her ghost followed him everywhere. Karen - the celestial wizard who used to own his key. The celestial wizard who was killed because of his rebellion. Loke had never meant for her to die. All he had wanted to do was stick up for himself and his fellow celestial spirits who Karen had been abusing for so long.

Even though he was a spirit, he was human too. Wasn't he? He certainly felt human emotions like happiness, sadness, anger, guilt, grief... and love. During his time in the human realm, Loke had fallen in love with another wizard in the Fairy Tail guild: the ice mage Gray Fullbuster. He knew from the start that he shouldn't get attached to anyone since he was unsure of how long he would be able to survive outside the spirit world; however, his heart had acted without consulting his brain. Loke was well known in Magnolia for being a ladies' man - the kind of guy who dates everyone but doesn't fall for anyone. Until he met Gray.

The two became friends quickly. Loke felt comfortable around Gray. When he was with Gray he could even momentarily forget his own past. But his past was not so easily squandered. The longer Loke struggled to survive in the wrong world, the heavier his guilt weighed on him.

One night after a bit too much to drink, Loke had kissed Gray. And Gray had kissed him back. Loke should have been happy, and part of him was, but as his love grew so did his guilt.

He could see her ghost - hear her begging to know how he could kill someone he was sworn to protect and telling him that he did not deserve to love or be loved.

He was not worthy of the happiness he found with Gray. Nor was he worthy of Lucy who, despite how he had treated her, fought for him. When she convinced the celestial spirit king to give him another chance, Loke's initial feeling had been that he was getting off too easily and that if not properly punished he would never be free of his guilt.

He showed up at Gray's place in tears that night and confessed everything. Gray held him tightly and they kissed more deeply and passionately than they ever had before. In that moment, Loke made a silent promise to himself not to waste this opportunity - to learn from his past and let it help him form more meaningful relationships in the present and future. And to Loke's surprise, he could have sworn that he saw Karen's ghost nod approvingly before waving goodbye.

WC: 443

A/N: Not really sure how I feel about this one but eh it is what it is~