=moving on= / jaeyong

(<<14>>)

Donghyuck felt weird without his brother.

So lonely...

Everything they once did together, everything was now dull and boring. He felt uncomfortable eating breakfast in his own house, he felt no happiness in waking up and going to school on his own was his biggest torture.

His mother ended things quick. She found a house, she bought it, she packed things while Taeyong was in school, busy confessing and in the nighttime they moved. Everything went too fast. Taeyong messaged him everyday and they both promised to call each other at least once in a week- but that was not enough, he wanted his brother back. Donghyuck's father had distanced himself, not that he ever did much for him. Sighing, Donghyuck took step after step. It was monday, today was the first time he would be in school without his brother. Where would he sit at lunch? Next to Mark and his other both bestfriends, which were clearly better than him? Next to Taeil and Doyoung, which had no interest in him as they were busy flirting? He did not really know any other people. On another note, after Taeyong left he felt even more worthless. It seemed as if no one except for Taeyong cared for him, no one was ready to hold him. Mark had barely messaged him, and that was also odd. Donghyuck did not want to go to school. Everything seemed grey, everything seemed so dull.

Arriving at school, he realized he was way to early, so he decided he would search for a pretty place, sit there and pity himself, as humans usually do. He was pathetic and he stood by it.
Sitting down under a tree he breathed in and out and leaned against the strong trunk.

If there was no man who could hold him, a tree would do. And maybe if Taeyong was away he could teach himself to be strong, so that when he sees Taeyong next time his brother will be proud of him. He could make himself prettier, he could lose weight, he could try and get rid of his chubby cheeks- Taeyong never allowed that. Donghuyck could learn to gain more confidence, he could lean to detache himself from his emotions...

- he could forget Mark. He could forget that dorky angel, that innocent sunshine, he could forget his smile, his voice, his face. He could forget that he did not care for him, he could forget that Mark had better friends. Or maybe he could become prettier and make Mark love him, he could pretend to be someone else Mark liked;-
Donghyuck huffed. He was getting ahead from himself. The only thing he should remind himself of is that a happy ending is a wonder and wonders do not happen. His dreams, his dreams alone with his fantasy were the  one part that was allowed to work, the one part imagining him in the arms of a prince charming- who coincidentally had Mark's face- save, secure, forever. Slowly his eyes became teary again. If his brother would have been there he would have held his hand and they would have talked together, he wouldn't have been alone with his thoughts driving him to the edge. Softly he hugged his knees tight and buried his face in his sleeves. He would not cry, no no, not now, but he wanted to no one see his frowning face.

He really missed his brother.

After a while someone tapped his shoulder. Donghyuck breathed in, recollected himself and smiled up to the person. To his dismay it was not Mark, rather someone he had not expected.

"Good morning", he greeted, looking down at Hyuck, "where is your brother?"

Donghyuck looked at Jaehyun, blinked twice, then shook his head, his smile disappearing.
"Taeyong is not here." 
Jaehyun nodded.
"I can see that", he said, "where is he?"
"Not with me."
Despite telling himself not to tear up, Donghyuck's eyes began to water. "He's not here", he stated broken, "and I fear he won't be."
Worried Jaehyun crouched down and embraced the younger. "Hey, is everything alright?" Donghyuck shook his head and bit his lip, trying not to sob. Jaehyun caressed his back, shushing him slowly down. He himself was worried nuts for Taeyong, the way Hyuck sobbed he- but Taeyong would not be dead, would he?
"How long do we have 'til school starts?", Donghyuck croaked out. "About half an hour", Jaehyun replied.

"Sit down", said Donghyuck, "I want to tell someone what is going on."
Jaehyun obeyed, sitting next to Dongyhyuck and looking at him. Donghyuck sniffled.
"My brother moved."
Jaehyun exhaled relieved, "Thanks god, I thought he died..."
That made Donghyuck smile sheepishly. "Sorry, I should have warned you."
He cleared his throat and carried on, "But Taeyong would not do such a thing voluntarily. You see...", he looked at his fingers, "we are brothers but with a slight twist." He swayed his head a little and looked at the older. "We have different fathers. I don't know why Taeyong's dad did not stay, just as much as Taeyong doesn't know this for a fact but... he had left. My", he sighed painfully, "mother? Female creator? had found a rebound in my dad. Taeyong was happy with me, I was happy with Taeyong but our parents were- weird?"
Jaehyun scooted closer, seeing that Donghyuck was about to start crying again. "Taeyong and I got closer, my parents drifted away- Mum... ah for fucks sake, I can't even call that woman mum." Donghyuck sighed and looked at the grass. "Taeyong would always scold me whenever I curse." Then he shook his head and accepted the hug from Jaehyun, his tears running down his cheeks. Sniffling and trying to get a grip on himself he proceeded. "I don't know when it started, I don't know why but that woman hated Dad, and with Dad she hated me. Easy peasy lemon squeezy right? But Taeyong was there. He replaced that demon and raised me, he loved me- now the mature adults are divorced, Taeyong lives with his mother somewhere at the other end of the city and I'm alone." He sniffled again, a sob escaping. "If it there was no me, maybe my parents would have never met and Taeyong would be happy..."
He cried.

Jaehyun tightened his embrace, now enlightened by the awful truth. "Hyuck...", he softly called out, "but there are people who need you. What would Mark do for example?" "M-mark?", he sobbed, "Why would he care? I'm only cool because I'm always h-happy and I wish it would be that w-way." Jaehyun shook his head. "Why have you never trusted Mark with this?"
"Because Mark is something e-else. H-he thinks so different and i-is so innocent, I don't w-want to ruin that." He looked up at Jaehyun and in his broken face he recognized Taeyong and his heart ached again. "If M-mark would be mature, that would be g-great for me but I would hate my-myself for making him that way."
"Oh Hyuck...", Jaehyun let the younger boy sob into his chest, wishing silently his brother would also be by his side.

"You know,", Jaehyun started, "your brother confessed to me." Donghyuck nodded, he knew.
"Do you know which school Taeyong goes to?" Dongyuck sobbed again. "N-no, the witch would not tell me, I can only tell you tomorrow after asking h-him." He detached himself from Jaehyun and wiped his eyes. "Why do you need his school?"
Jaehyun swallowed dryly.
"Because I... I really need him. He stormed off after his confession without letting me speak, actually I wanted to get my feelings off my chest today..."
The younger looked at him in disbelief.
"Do you like him?"

Jaehyun thought a moment.
"Liked."
Donghyuck looked at him with a look of disappointment.
"Now I love him."
A subtle blush made it's way on his cheeks and Donghyuck smiled brightly.

Even if he couldn't be happy maybe his brother could.