『 ʙᴇɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʀғᴀᴄᴇ ⋙ sᴏᴘᴇ 』✔︎

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕚𝕩𝕥𝕪

A soft chuckle left Yoongi's lips, as he cautiously approached the younger's sleeping state.

It just occurred to Yoongi how angelic Hoseok really was, with his dainty like nose and soft neutral features, it was enough to send someone soaring into a whirlwind of hysterics.

Him sleeping off in a peaceful and unbothered doze only made the imagery even more prominent than it already was when he was fully awake. Something about it was just so- comforting and reassuring to Yoongi.

He couldn't explain it in words, but that didn't make it any less true to heart.

And then, something inside him cracked.

It was difficult to make out what exactly caused this outburst of feelings, because he didn't even know what kind of emotions were twisting and turning inside him. Perhaps a mix of irritation, envy, and perplexity- nothing new, yet something so foreign.

But why, why was he feeling these things?

What was the root to all of this? The cause? The origin?

It only drove the boy into an even bigger frenzy, because he couldn't even control his own emotions.

Just like that, the boy crouched down onto his weak knees, beating himself up and trying to itch his way through all the thick layers of his own consciousness, just to try and understand why his conscience was constantly playing mind games and tricks on him.

And then- it clicked.

It wasn't built up exhaustion from casual things from school, work, or his own feelings regarding the boy laying just a few feet away from him in deep sleep.

No, it was built up jealousy.

Jealousness of Chul.

Not because he was a star player that got everyone's attention, or was blessed with this extremely attractive appearance that had girls drooling all over him with every step he took in that cursed school.

In all honesty, Yoongi couldn't care less about those things.

It didn't vex him nearly as much as the fact that during every sixth period, Hoseok was basically in a love struck trance the whole time because of Chul. Because how in the world could an absolute pure-hearted boy as Hoseok, fall for someone as cold and mean as him?

It just didn't make sense.

And it made him furious.

And he knew that his own happiness didn't matter when it came to other people's happiness or sparks of joy in their lives.

Even if he meant he would hurt from it.

Back to the time when Hoseok was crying in his arms outside of the café, he preached how he didn't care that the younger had a silly crush on Chul.

But, even if he didn't realize it then, it suddenly dawned on him that he did care.

Perhaps it was his own selfishness speaking, that his crush liked someone else who he happened to be not-on-so-friendly-terms with.

But at the same time, it was selflessness.

Selflessness for putting away his own pride and admitting to Hoseok how awful Chul really was to him, and how much it hurt him and his teammates.

By showing his vulnerability.

All in all, he couldn't really tell.

Was he selfish for being angry at the fact that Hoseok's happiness just so happened to be the cost of his own by crushing on someone else that wasn't him, or selfless for warning Hoseok beforehand instead of letting him pay the price for his own stupidity?

He couldn't really tell, and it made him bonkers over the double standards of the complicated yet simple context. This newly discovered information that had been stored deep down inside Yoongi's hurting soul just surfaced to the top, finally springing up and bringing awareness to his own feelings.

And it wasn't just a sudden burst of emotions that all of a sudden sprung up inside him from nowhere, but long away stored and hidden ones he kept away from the public and buried underneath all his true feelings.

Whether it was a blessing or a curse, it didn't really matter.

Because all it took was one simple look at the ethereal Jung Hoseok laying in front of him to trigger it.

🍓whoops :(
🍼thank you for reading!! ༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ
🍓editor/assistant: jiminie_cricket_

My friend (⬆️) just published a oneshot book!! First story is vmin and its really well written <3 please check it out
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