Becoming Ryan-Leigh(Unedited)

XV

With summer coming to an end and autumn slowly creeping in, Mo gave birth not so long ago. Two beautiful twin girls, Ava and Luna. Mom is due in three months and the cohabitation thing with dad could not be more difficult. Well just for me that is. He still doesn't approve of my sexuality so that makes for very awkward vibes at the dinner table.

Mason has been texting and calling all summer to which I ignore because I don't want anything to do with him. McKenzie has finally left Alexa and I alone but I'm not letting my guard down because you never know with her.

Speaking of Alexa and I we've never been better. We basically spent every single day these past three months together and I've only fell deeper in love with her.

"Earth to Ryan. Are you okay?" Alexa says over the phone.

"Yeah. I'm good. "

"Still feeling sick? You look a bit pale. " I look at my reflection in the mirror to see what she sees and low and behold I do look pale. I have been feeling under the weather for a couple of days now and I just can't seem to shake the feeling of something being wrong off.

"I think I should go to the doctor. Something could be wrong."

"Okay babe. Let me know how it goes. I'll talk to you after practice okay. I love you."

"I love you too baby. " I hung up and grab my phone, keys, wallet and a hoodie before heading downstairs. I get downstairs and bump into my mom at the door.

"Hey baby. What's wrong? You look pale. "

"Yeah, I know. I'm heading out to the doctor right now, are you busy?"

"Of course not baby. Let's go."

We get into my car and begin the 20 minute drive to the doctors office. Once we're there we head inside to the fourth floor doctor's office. And mom signs me in and we wait for our turn. We don't wait long because five minutes later we're called to the back.

The nurse takes my weight, blood pressure, a pee sample and asks some other questions before leaving us to wait for the doctor.

Not more than five minutes later, Dr. Fisher comes in.

"Kenya. Ryan. How are you?" Dr. Fisher asks. She's been our family doctor for as long as I remember.

"I'm doing okay Lynn. It's Ryan I'm worried about. She's been under the weather for the past couple of days, we're just here to make sure she's okay. "

"Oh you poor thing. We'll let me just have a quick look at your chart and we will take it from there." She says picking up the yellow folder she placed on her desk when she walked in. Her face morphs into one of  shyness and a blush begins to creep up to her cheeks.

"Well Ryan, it looks like you're pregnant." She says looking between me and mom, waiting for a reaction.

"What? I'm what?" I say in disbelief. I look between Dr. Fisher and my mom.

"You're pregnant. We can determine how far along you are after the ultrasound. Please take your top and hoodie off and put this on, I'll be back shortly." She hands me a white hospital gown to put on before leaving the room.

I do as instructed and that's when I remember that I had came with my mom.

"Mama. Say something." I ask her while fiddling with one of the string attached to my hoodie.

"We'll talk later Ryan." Mom says not even looking at me in the eyes. Dr. Fisher comes back into the room and tells me to get on the bed. I lay on the slightly raised bed and she proceeds to put gel in my stomach before spreading it around with the ultrasound transducer.

The silence in the room is cut by the faint sound of a heartbeat and that's when my mom moves from the chair she had been sitting on since we arrived and came to grab my hand.

"Looks like you're 3 months along. Baby's measuring healthy. Everything looks good. Looks like they're hiding themselves so I can't tell the gender yet, maybe next appointment." Dr. Fisher says before wiping the gel off and telling me to put my top and hoodie on and meet her outside.

"Mason? Your birthday party? Is this when it happened?" Mom asks.

"Yeah. God, I'm so stupid. How could I let this happen?" I say as my voice begins to break with the impending emotional breakdown that's about to happen.

"Hey. Look at me. You're not stupid. You had no idea what Mason and McKenzie had planned. We'll figure it all out. Don't you worry. Mama's got you okay?" She says pulling me in for a hug and giving me a kiss on the forehead.

We leave Dr. Fisher's office and head to the reception where she hands me my prenatal vitamins and supplements along with my next appointment card.

On the drive home Mom told me that she would tell dad alone and we'll take it from there.

When we get home I head straight to my room to let the flood gates that have been threatening to open blow. It's not long after I hear yelling and footsteps coming upstairs in my direction.

"I knew this gay thing of yours was a phase. But getting pregnant was not the way to go." Dad says, standing at the door to my room.

"It's not a phase dad. This was a mistake that was not meant to happen."

"So you're still with that Alexis girl?"

"Alexa. And yes Dad, I am."

"You just continue to be a disappointment Ryan. Such a shame." He says before walking away.

I've always known that I've never been high on my dad's list of favourites but actually hearing him call me a disappointment was reassurance enough.

I make eye contact with mom and as she's about to say something, I storm out my room, grabbing my keys as I reach the foyer and head to  Alexa's.

With tears streaming down my face, driving above the speed limit, I get to Alexa's apartment, which isn't so far from my house. Switching off the ignition, I numbly greet the doorman and make my way to the elevator.

Once I reach the third floor, I walk to Apartment 3C and as if she'd known I was coming, the door opens before I even knock.

"Ryan babe. Are you okay?" She asks moving closer to me in an attempt to wipe the tears away.

With a deep breath, I look her in the eyes knowing I could lose her and tell her the two words I didn't think I'd ever tell her.

"I'm pregnant."