She's In Love With A Geek

Chapter 30 - I Drive Myself Crazy

But, though my intentions were pure, did I somehow overdo it? Thinking back all the actions I did for her, it was too much. But I couldn't even grasp why I was doing those things for her, especially that date. I made it seem like an actual date, where in fact, I just wanted her to feel rewarded for the effort she had done, to inspire and motivate her more.

And at the same time to see that smile on her face. That contagious smile.

My lips curled upward as I remember how she looked when she saw the picnic setup in her garden, her happy and vibrant face that could lit up every room. I can see now why she was very confident of herself, and for saying that everybody likes her.

"Everybody likes me! Everybody loves Courtney Collins."

Yeah, you could make everybody like you.

Do you like her?

I asked myself.

The smile I just had suddenly disappeared when I remembered what happened a while ago.

"Yeah, you're right. That's probably the reason why I broke up with that someone."

When. How. Why.

Those were the questions I wanted to ask her, but for some unknown reason, I couldn't help but think that I somehow played a role on that one. Did I complicate things for them?

When I looked around and realized what I did— it dawned on me. The date, flowers, and how I like seeing her smile—I shouldn't be doing this. That's why I left right away.

I shouldn't be there. I shouldn't have agreed to that deal in the first place. I couldn't believe myself for even playing that game with her, I know myself, and it wasn't my intention to ruin their relationship and even break them apart.

I looked up the ceiling and took a deep sigh, "I shouldn't have played the queen's game."

* * * *

Wednesday.

I'd been busying myself with SA duties and drama club, but no matter what, I still couldn't stop myself from thinking about her. Was it a jerk move to just stop talking to her all of a sudden?

Maybe, or maybe not.

I doubt she even noticed it. I haven't received any message from her either, it's not that I was expecting it though, maybe she was preoccupied and I couldn't blame her for that. She has a lot of things on her plate. Her grades, and her sudden break up.

But what should I do then? I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea, and I wouldn't want to get involve either. It's just that I wouldn't want her to think I was backing out with my promise of tutoring her, and a promise to myself that I would help her no matter what.

But she just broke up with her boyfriend, and whatever her reasons be, one thing is for sure. I shouldn't get involve.

Jackson was saying something about his new video game—I laughed when he laughed, and just kept on nodding. Physically I was present, but mentally not.

How was Courtney anyway? How's her studies? I sure hope she's doing well. She made a lot of progress already, and it would be a shame to watch all her efforts go down the drain. I found myself thinking about her every day and night.

I was tempted to turn my head back, and have a quick glance at her direction. But I willed myself not to. I should stop thinking about her.

When we're about to leave the cafeteria, I took a side glance at her direction discreetly, and I found her looking at me as well. I turned my head straight and kept on walking.