RedamancyTale (DustTale Frans and MultiShips)

Chapter 15

It is about 10 pm. Kris is sitting on the bed, waiting for Ralsei to come. She feels a bit... nervous.

Will it happen tonight? Her knees wiggle side to side in anticipation. Her heart is pounding a bit, but she breathes to calm any nerves.

(I will not make a move on him. He should. He's my husband for crying out loud!)

She's not wearing anything too revealing. Just a simple, modest bathrobe. Ralsei would probably pass out if she were to do anything more.

(He said he wanted a baby too... I hope it's not just because of me.)

The anxiety is pushed away as she sees Ralsei come into the room.

Ralsei closed the door behind him, and his anxiety rose when he heard it latch. He was doing so much better the whole day about being brave. But now...this was different. This was scarier to him.

He wanted to try, but a small part of him still didn't feel ready. He didn't even know what to say. He started to walk towards her, his soul racing more and more with each step.

"U-umm...Kris..." He tried to talk, but he was such a mess with his face heating up. He felt like passing out. (I'm terrible at talking like this...) He realized. (I don't know if I can do this...)

"Is something wrong, Ralsei?" Kris's face was full of worry.

"I'm sorry..." He couldn't look at her. He was too embarrassed. "I-I'm fine."

(I don't want to mess this up for her. I want this! So why am I so scared?)

He went to take another step forward, but he felt shaky. He took a step back instead. "Sorry..." He apologized again.

"It's alright. Dear, are you absolutely sure you're fine with this?" His actions were making her feel even more worried.

"Yes." He forced himself to go to the bed and he sat down beside her. He reached over for her hand and just sat there for a few moments as he tried to get up the courage to do more. He couldn't find any courage though. (Why can't I just be brave and confident like Kris? I know she loves me. Why is this hard?)

He decided that he had to do something. He turned to look at Kris, but then he saw the look on her face and he froze.

"Stop it." Kris looked down. Her eyes were tearing up. "Why do you do this to yourself? Forcing yourself do things you don't want to do?"

He realized that he didn't have a good answer to that question. He did want for it to happen, but his nerves got in the way. Yet he didn't tell her. He kept trying to force himself.

"I did want to do it." He rubbed her hand, feeling terrible that she was crying.

"No... If you don't want to, just tell me!" She sobbed. "I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on you. You're so kind and innocent. You wouldn't want to hurt my feelings if you do what I wanted. I don't want to be selfish anymore. I want to consider your feelings."

"I wasn't lying..." He was trying not to cry too at that point. "I want to start a family with you."

"But I can see it in your face..." Kris stammered. "It's like you're terrified of me... I... don't want this if it makes you look at me that way. It... makes me feel like I'm often assaulting you."

She lies down and holds onto one of the pillows onto the bed. It hurts. A lot.

(I'm not going to bring it up again. I'm not going to be too much for him ever again.)

"I'm not scared of you at all!" She could tell by his breathing that he had started to cry. "I'm scared of doing something wrong. But that's not your fault. It's just me..."