I Hate Football Players

33: He Doesn't Like Me

"You. Kissed. Him?" Harper squeaked in an uncharacteristically excited voice. Her hand on my arm squeezed tighter. "You, Eleanor Grace Harrison, the one who never-"

"Harper." I threw her a warning look, which probably looked tired. My limbs were filled with lead, and my shoulders drooped, making my back round. "It was just a peck on the cheek. A total mistake."

"Hmmm. Full confession time." She smiled. Glad one of us found this amusing. "I suppose if someone traveled alone, onto enemy territory, and wearing only their stupidity for the sole purpose to see me, then I'd give up a kiss too."

What an uncharacteristically romantic answer. I frowned and waited for her real one. She rolled her eyes, and she expelled a loud exhale. "Fine, so I'd probably also let him cop a feel. That's a commitment there, Elle. Why aren't you all over that like a donkey on a waffle?"

"Like a what?" I stared at her weird choice of words.

"You heard me." She shrugged. "You read romance stories, I read Urban Dictionary. So, you kissed him before tonight's game? I'm so proud of you."

Silly Harper, nobody read Urban Dictionary. "Umm, no." Based on the warmth rising in my cheeks, I assumed they were now somewhere between scarlet and molten. "Before I left his house last Saturday."

Her blonde eyebrows furrowed and creased her forehead. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was embarrassed." My cheeks reached molten level. "I dunno, he was nice and sweet and normal. It just happened."

After a long but not uncomfortable pause, she looked at me with a quizzical frown. "Do you regret it?"

"Are you joking? Of course, I do. Did you miss the part where he admitted he's using me?" I sighed, rounded my shoulders, and slumped over. "He tried to manipulate me into having feelings for him, so he could shred them to make me a blubbery mess, and Jake go apeshit."

The first part of Logan's plan was painfully close to fruition, although I only showed my shattered reaction to Jake's rearview mirror. Fuck, with how overboard he'd gone this week, I need all exchanges with Logan buried and forgotten.

"Sadly, I can see that happen," she whispered. "Fuck, that would've been an epic asshole-on-asshole beatdown. Adonis told you the truth?"

I closed my eyes. Not that nickname. "Yeah. But then he rattled off all this other shit about me, and I'm... confused. And now I have to see him tomorrow. He's his school's rep at these charity events." Which wasn't a coincidence. Fuck, he played me.

By Harper's frown, she agreed. "Don't get me started on your fuckhead brother, but Jans is an ass." Her words didn't make me feel better. Yesterday, Principal Jans rejected my request to skip the blood drive and book fair events. Being the solo participant gave me zero leverage. "I can't go tomorrow, but I'll go to the next event with you. You say the word and his balls will become shark chum in the Pacific. What is it?"

"Book drive."

She deflated with a loud exhale. "Fuck. Fine. Is that all that happened?"

I frowned at how little recall I needed for our not-kiss encounter. Who was I kidding? It was all I'd thought about since I cried in Jake's car. "No. I guess, technically, that's it, except Logan... almost kissed me."

"Almost?" She frowned again. "It's kind of an all-or-nothing thing. Explain."

Oh gosh. She was going to make me dive into the painful, humiliating details. I slumped over, resting my elbows on my knees. All that crying left me with reserved energy, and I was exhausted from sitting down. "He kind of brushed his lips on mine but stopped and said he shouldn't." The words left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I held a hand up to my mouth. Despite that moment feeling wrong, my heart fluttered from the soft, warm whisper of contact. I swallowed hard, choking on dry air. An empty, unsatisfied, bitter taste lingered. I hated myself for having that reaction, or any reactions other than raw indifference. All I should have felt was anger and betrayal. Which I did, but my other emotions refused to disappear.