"That day at the party when you confessed that you love me, I was shocked. Never thought of someone like you loving me...."
His eyes held warmth and were twinkling with happiness, living the day when she boldly confessed love for him.
It felt surreal. Her loving him.
She was perfect in every sense whereas, he a flawed man.
"I mean look at you and me. You a bubbly personality who could light up the whole room with your mere presence and me, who is famous for silencing everyone with my intimidating personality."
At the end he cracked a sad smile, eyes crinkling a little from the corners, as he shook his head still not able to grasp how an innocent soul like her fell for him.
He was intimidating. He was cold. He was cruel. And still she fell for him.
"You are not..."
She thought he was mocking her choice and that didn't set well with her as she opened her mouth to argue with him, which he immediately stopped by concealing her mouth with his hand, refraining her from speaking.
"Shhh... Let me speak."
"My heart rejoiced when you denied loving Hassan but then my entire existence shook when you confessed loving me. I wasn't able to grasp my emotions and I blurted out the first thing which came to my mind, but you can't blame me though, People fall in and out of love at that age and I too thought the same. I thought you were infatuated with me nothing else...."
She was young and it was easy for youngsters to fall in and out of love. Also, sometimes attraction is perceived as love when actually it's not. He too thought the same.
The thought of her in love with him seemed too good to be true. He was protecting his heart from pain. The pain of getting heartbroken.
He would have crumbled to ashes if her love was just a mere attraction, nothing else. Also it would have destroyed what they had, which clearly he didn't wanted. He didn't wanted to complicate things with her, and loose her over some feelings.
She was too precious for him and he couldn't afford to loose her. Afterall, she was the only ray of happiness in his boring, gloomy life.
"I didn't wanted to hurt you at all but things I said was my defense mechanism. My words were coming out to protect myself. I was angry.... Angry at you for destroying what we had but more than that, I was scared.... Scared to loose the only girl with whom I could be myself, with whom I could let my guard down completely without fearing of getting judged...."
He knew how much he regretted shouting at her that day. He knew how much he cursed himself for bringing tears in her eyes but what could he do ? He was only protecting himself. Protecting his heart from unrepairable damage. Protecting himself from life long pain and misery.
"But you took that girl away from me... You took my little birdie away from me...."
Narrowing his misty eyes, he complained to her like a small child who was wronged when his favourite toy was snatched away from him, the one who was couldn't be replaced with any other, the one which was too precious for him to loose.
"It wasn't my fault.... I never wanted to fall in love. Nobody wants to. It just happens."
Glancing up, she tried to speak loudly with the urgency to defend herself but failed miserably at the end, with her lips wobbling, her quivering with pain.
How could he hold grudge against her for having feelings against him ? It wasn't her heart's fault that it chose to love him. He said he was intimidating but with her he was a different man.
FORTY SEVEN
Start from the beginning
