Teenagehood ( ON HOLD)

Teenagehood: Assertiveness

  Shout-out   to Teefabulous , her comment in the last chapter inspired me to talk about today's topic. A huge   shout-out   to all my readers, for all your votes and comments, I totally appreciate. Love you all😘 

  Now to today's talk 

  Are you ready?  

In the last chapter , I talked  about Peer pressure and if you recall clearly, one of the ways to say resist to peer pressure is to say no. To be frank, I didn't have an idea of today's talk before I saw her comment and I had to research on the topic and understand.

So, what is assertiveness?

Let me start on a funny note. There was a song I used to sing in my childhood. I don't know if you  know it but it's kind of popular. The song goes as:

🎶wherever you go, (go, go, go,go)🎶
🎶whatever you see (Sisi eko)
🎶do not say yes,when you need to say no ( baba Ibadan) 🎶

You see, this was a popular song, I used to sing in my primary school. Let me explain what I understand from the song.

Wherever you go, whatever you see, do not say yes when you need to say no. Let your yes be yes, when you need to say no, do not say yes. When you need to say yes, do not say no. Stand for yourself and be true to yourself.

Now, back to the question, I asked that what is assertiveness. You see before we talk on assertiveness. Let's first understand the three styles of communications. We have, assertiveness, aggressiveness and passiveness. Assertiveness is like a bridge between aggressiveness and passiveness.

Let me illustrate these styles of behavior:

Catherine has a style that is too passive:  If you ask her what movie you both should watch, she'll likely say, I don't know, what do you want to watch?  She let's others make her decision for her and afterwards she begin to regrets why she didn't speak up in the first place. When she speaks up in a conversation, she usually takes too softly that the others won't know that she's talking and they talk over her without realizing

Jane has a style that is assertive: when you ask for her opinion, she gives it  honestly, if she disagrees with you, she would say so but in a way that doesn't put you down or make you feel wrong. She is interested in your opinions, she listens to what you have to say. Even when she disagrees with you, you will still feel that she respects your point of view.

Abigail has a style that is too aggressive:  she has no trouble speaking her mind but when she does she tagged as being loud or opinionated. She dominates the conversation often and interacts when other people try to speak. She rarely listens, if she disagrees with you she lets you know usually  with sarcasm or an insensitive or bossy attitude

Assertiveness is the ability to speak up for yourselves in a way that is honest and respectful. Everyday, we are in a situation where assertiveness can help us e.g. when you are invited to a party, approaching a teacher, etc.

Being assertive does not come naturally to everyone. Some people communicate in a way that is too passive or too aggressive. This other style of communication will be discussed in details as you go further.

  What does it mean to be assertive? 

-You can give opinion in how you say or feel.
-You can ask for what you need.
-You can disagree respectfully.
-You can offer your ideas and suggestions.
- You can say no without feeling guilty.