It doesn't matter where i go, when or what i do. It always end up at the same page, full of loneliness and silence.
I can't say that I'm tired if I'm not even able to do something about it .
I'm failing and falling, again.
I can watch all your pretty life, with college, friends and smiles. And everytime i blink i try not to cry in front of you, just because i don't get it, i don't get your world and all this happiness.
While i write,alone, i know you all are smiling or having fun with friends.
I can't pray to a god because i can't find a way to believe in one, but if i could, instead of praying to get better and fit in somewhere, i would probably prefer death or just someone, one person who i can talk to, someone who actually gets me and doesn't care about dramas and paranoias.
What i have now? My only true friend, maybe soulmate, loneliness. And at the same time it hurts like hell, i just can't get rid off her, although this is all i have.
I can't get into a college. I can't study either. Its getting hard to focus or do anything else.
last week i tried to get out of home Didn't work well.
Right now i have no friends, no future, no college. Nothing but loneliness and anger.
I wish i knew what to do. I wish i could be able to do anything. I wish i loved someone. Anyone. I wish i had friends. I wish i thought and see things like everybody else instead of beeing a weirdo
Please, take me out of here,
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YOU ARE READING
Dear sad diary
Random- A diary cannot feel. I can. And I'm sad. It's my shitty life and this sucks, so don't read it.