Before Us ✔

Catching on by letting go

But then all that matters is how much you love yourself to decide how miserable you're going to be. I'm pathetic enough to hold onto the guy I let go willingly.

I need to be catching on by letting go. And I will be, but slowly. I don't want to rush things and force them. I don't want my partner to feel like they mean nothing to me. I want to be able to cherish another person and be able to make new memories.

Days kept rushing by and March was already peaking into my calendar. I saw Chance's glimpses of him walking by Mitch's room. Mitch and May thought it would be better if we don't videocall for a few days but I insisted. I held onto the words dad said that night, I have to look him in the eye and feel he isn't the one.

Ah Rin and So Mi kept recommending me a few interior designing jobs but I didn't get myself to work. I decided on taking a break after confirming that my parents want me to rest. Dad filled in mom about my situation with Chance. Mom gave me her share of tips on moving on.

I decided to grow my hair long because I had it to shoulder's length when I was with Chance. I went shopping with my friends and bought many new clothes. Ji Hun was studying for his senior year exams. I helped him with topics I was confident about.

I was out with my friends on a sunny morning. They wanted to meet for lunch so we were in a nice restaurant near So Mi's house. So Mi, unlike both of us, is rich. She had a house in the better part of the town where the chaebols (rich people) lived.

She pointed out many houses of a few celebrities, models. She even showed us how Kang Joon moved out of his parent's house and bought himself a nice mansion here. I was kind of jealous on how well he was living. I could've lived like that if I just focused well on my life. I was too busy living in a fairytale and when it ended, I didn't know how to face reality.

Ah Rin waa a fashion designer who was  trying to reach new heights of the world. Instead of moving to Seoul or near So Mi's house, she decided to buy a  house in the outskirts of the town. She lived a rather peaceful life, not chasing after fame.

So Mi is a web cartoonist trying to give her best into making good comics. She was earning well, her comics are rather popular.

Everyone were running and maintaining a good pace with life unlike me. I felt lost, I wasn't good at anything. I didn't know how to cope up with my friends. I've always wanted to become a good interior designer, the plans went downhill lately. I need to pick my pace up, not for fame or money but because it's my dream.

The restaurant we went to was a nice place, cute and small. So Mi said they cook the best food around here. Ah Rin agreed with So Mi saying that this place is indeed a very good one. It was opened recently and was running well. It's been only five years but everything felt different the more I spend time in my hometown.

"Let's take a selfie," Ah Rin fished her phone out of her handbag.

I smiled at the picture as So Mi pouted. Ah Rin was posing naturally and the picture came very well. We squealed over how nice the apps like snapchat and Instagram are in the terms of filters. When I was leaving Korea, skype and Kakaotalk were famous. Now everything is westernized.

A waitress came to take our orders. I shrugged and said Ah Rin to order anything. So Mi smiled at the waitress, "I'll have the black bean noodles."

Chance hated black bean noodles, I remembered. I need to forget what he likes and what he doesn't. I have to move on and focus on not sulking over an ex like a teenager. I sounded so lovestruck and heartbroken, it made me scoff mentally.

Ah Rin flipped through the menu, "I'll have today's special. And for her, it's buckwheat noodles."

"What's today's special?" I asked as the waitress left.