Hope you enjoy the chapter.
AshuX
***
"Chance Wilson?" Dad asked, a little confused not understanding what or who I'm talking about.
I nodded as I sniffled, "My ex-boyfriend with whom I broke up two months ago."
He didn't say a word as I narrated him the past of how we were friends to close friends to lovers in five years. I told him how we broke up, what happened after two months that it left Chance and I with bitter aftertastes in our mouths. He listened patiently, silently as he analysed my pain through my words and my features.
He squeezed my hand in reassurance. "Ji Hee, love, I," He paused before continuing, "What do you want to do, Ji Hee? I don't know what to do to decrease your pain, my child."
I shook my head, "Mollayo (I don't know),"
"Do you hate him or do you-"
I answered as I cut him off, "I hate that I love him, dad, I don't know what to do."
I sobbed in his arms, as my dad rocked me in his arms. He craddled me like I'm still a child who's crying because of a broken toy. Toys I played with changed as I aged, from Barbie dolls to my own heart. I wouldn't say that Chance broke it, I let him break it. It didn't break when we broke up, it broke when he said that I was a misunderstanding; that I meant nothing to him.
"Try to move on, it hurts a lot but letting go sometimes hurts less than holding on. You shouldn't have held him even after breaking up, if you haven't, you wouldn't be here crying in my arms, would you be?" He asked as he wiped my tears. I didn't know that he would be so understanding. I expected him to understand me but not to an extent that he would be pained. I knew it by the tone changing in his voice. He always hated seeing me cry no matter how silly the reason is.
Usually parents would wipe the tears of their child if they are understanding but my parents never even let me cry. I was pampered a lot, I was the perfect child who had everything: good looks, average grades, pretty clothes, good family, a nice house, real friends. I never took them for granted because I grew up watching things that would never let me take things easily.
There was a time in these five years that I had to work two jobs a day just to stay in America. Because I wanted to stay close to Chance. Then I gave up because we were fading away too much, we became strangers at one point. I could do anything for the things I love but he didn't want me to love him. He didn't let me. He wanted to set me up with other guys after breaking all the promises that went till marriage, a whole life imagined.
"I let go, dad, I was happy for a few days after coming home. But today," I inhaled, "I heard his voice again and somehow I ended up remembering all of those moments. And I-"
I broke down once again like a child and my father sighed heavily, trying to console me. But the words he said me next put a different kind of fear inside my heart. He stroked my hair, "Ji Hee, if you want to move on, do it while you face them. Hear his voice, look at your pictures with him but try to move on. Because anyone can think that they moved on while avoiding them. Moving on is looking them in the eyes and saying, this person is not who I want or need anymore. That's how you move on in life."
I gulped the tears down, "What if I can never move on?"
"Silly girl, I am not an expert but I think I can be. Afterall, when I met your mother, she was nearly taking her own life because of her ex-lover. All you need is someone who can love you. Don't say love is not for you just because of someone who couldn't love you well. You really remind me of your mother, even with your thinking." He ruffled my hair and patted my head as if I'm a puppy.
