Finding 'x'

•Confrontations•

Why don't I give them something to talk about then?

I walked up, more like stumbled up, to the man and held out my hand to him with a sweet smile, "care for a walk, father?"

I was satisfied that I got my desired result. Walking through dozens of frozen people was better option than outrunning a swarming crowd of nosy idiots. We made it away from the premises without so much hassle.

♣

If anyone was to win an award for worse daughter of the decade then that would be me. The first place I brought my father after meeting him for the first time was a local bar two streets away from school. 

It was somewhere I frequented a lot. Reason being that Mama Bee didn't mind serving minors as long as they were not drinking or smoking on credit. Well, except on occasions like this when I didn't have my wallet with me.

We were now in the gazebo-like area of the place, seated opposite each other by a blue, round, plastic table that had rubber tablemats placed on them, having a staring contest of sorts.

Without wavering my gaze, I flickered a lighter to ignite the tip of my perfectly wrapped blunt and took in a deep drag. It only resulted to a pathetic bout of coughs. 

The man's heated gaze pierced through me with precision. His brow arched like he knew that I was purposefully trying to provoke him by smoking in his presence. So far, he wasn't taking my bait, he hadn't even said anything since I acknowledged him as my sperm donor.

"Mama Bee!" I hollered for the small, boisterous woman that ran the place and at the same time worked as a waitress due to her skinflint nature. She materialized beside me in no time.

"Two bottles of trophy for the man, one—"

"I'm fine Dada, I don't drink… anymore" Daddy dearest took the moment I was in the middle of saying something as the perfect one to finally talk.

Just perfect!

"It's my treat dude, I'm not telling you to pay, seeing that you can't even afford it," I snapped in reply and Mama Bee's eyes widened a fraction, probably mortified that I was being rude to someone way older than me.

Well, she didn't know that the asshole in front of me didn't deserve whatever respect there was to give.

"I really don't drink Dada anymore and it's not because I can't afford it," he replied calmly with the patience of a reverend. Which only filed me up even more.

"Why? Because you've suddenly realised how useless you've been all your goddamned life and have decided to give your life to Christ and search for inner peace?" I questioned through my teeth with my hands clenching and unclenching by my sides.

I just needed one word, I needed just one word of judgement that would fall out of lips. One word to question my upbringing, then I would tell him all about it. In details.

"Well, I definitely haven't given my life to Christ, neither am I searching for inner peace. I have been pretty useless almost all my life, yes. But I plan to make it right, I don't know how or if it'll work out the way I want it to, but I want to try at least," he said earnestly, making me dig my nails deeper into my palms. It was probably going to break the skin and bleed but I didn't care.

My plan wasn't working and the man's inability to take offence was really annoying. Seriously.

"You know what?" I said with narrowed eyes, "you shouldn't even try to make it better. Not now, when everything is ruined beyond repair. You should run far away from this place like a coward, because that's what you are!"