Finding 'x'

•I need a wrap•

I needed a shit load of weed to scare off my impending insanity.

Everything was driving me crazy, I needed my space to brood over the conflicting emotions threatening to overpower my reasoning.
But I was stuck in an underpopulated hall instead, listening to boring introductions, sob stories and whatnot  of people I barely knew nor cared about.

Just one wrap will do. One wrap. That's all I need.

"....so I say to you all with a warm heart; this is a session to be studious alright, but don't forget to enjoy the extracurricular activities lined up too. Welcome." Was the few words that ended the 'hearty' welcome speech by the female senior prefect I was able to catch when I zoned back in.

She stood perfect on the stylishly elevated stage in her crisp brown blazer, plaid mini and starched cream shirt that made up the school's uniform. Her hat slightly perched in a way that revealed the latest Peruvian hair she got from her summer vacation trip to Paris.
She had a perfect, indulgent smile on her face as the entire populace of the hall applauded her, a smile that reminded me of how unworthy I was to be called her twin.

A smile that reminded me too well of the 'perfect stereotype of a father', the man who'd raised us both.

Just do as I tell you to, there'll be no harm as long as you follow my lead….

Sigh.

I really needed to clear my head.

"Earth to Elly!" Came the tiny, squealing voice of the only person that mattered to me on earth –Tinuke

"Hey Tiny," I beamed back at the tiny little, but  nervous kid that needed my attention brightly, shoving all the disturbing thoughts and urges to sneak back into my dorm room and have a wrap or two to the back of my mind.

"What's up baby?" I asked and patted the scarlet seat just beside mine. But she seemed to excited to sit, her little hands just my face closer to hers and she went on to whisper not–so–softly into my ears.

"I met a boy," she paused to gauge my expression but didn't wait for my reply before she spoke up again, "but before you go into killer mode, he's just a friend."

And yet another thing to worry about.

Jeez.

"You're eleven Tiny and a fresher here, it's not healthy to begin by chasing boys." I tried to explain in the calmest and sweetest way possible but she'll have none of it, she assured me it was just a friend, smacked her lips on my cheek in a sloppy, wet kiss and reminded me not to tell her mother that she loved me more before running off with the 'boy' she'd met.

Well the boy was cute, I had to give her that.

The innocent boy, in his Harry-Porter-like glasses and slightly oversized uniform let her drag him away from my intimidating stare after she did a-two-second introduction.

Smart kid knew I would scare him off if they waited any longer.

How children grows fast.

Funny that I was saying that when I'd barely just clocked seventeen. That's because I'd practically raised Tinuke, and I couldn't help but feel like a parent as I witnessed her flee with a male friend on her first day of highschool.

Just like yesterday when being only six, I'd held her tiny body in my arms with the same feeling of love I still have in my heart for her.

We shared that unique connection of being alone even when surrounded by 'loved ones', 'family'. That was exactly why we bonded even without sharing blood connections, why we considered our bond the closest on earth and why we stood strong and would continue to stand the test of time till we grew grey –or so I'd thought.