Finding 'x'

•Visiting day •

Tiny's torment had awaited me the minute I'd closed my eyes. She met me at a dark bathroom stall with hysterical laughter and the bizarre action of raising her school skirt to flash me her gory gashes that lay underneath, mocking me with the words; love and hero. She'd showed me the equation on her arm, the wordings seemed slashed deeply into her skin with a sharp blade instead of the normal turquoise blue writing of a marker with a derisive smile on her bluish, chapped lips.

The smile had morphed into grim frown and her beady, lifeless eyes –that bore a striking semblance to the dying squirrel's– held mine captive when she breathed the words I was beginning to dread;

'find x my Elly. Find x'.

I shot up from my bed with terror, the glimmer of moonlight that'd seeped through the curtains landed on my sweat-glazed skin, the blanket had been long discarded due to my subconscious wrestle.

I desperately tapped around for the switch of my bedside lamp before slowly remembering I was on a couch in a room that wasn't mine.

Thankfully, I hadn't disturbed the cop's peaceful sleep.

I tapped around the couch once more for another, more discrete source of light and miraculously, with the aid of the thin slice of moonlight I'd been able to find the desired device and with the aid of the faint backlight of my phone, I'd found my way to the cop's bathroom.

I'd taken residence in the cop's tiny bathtub for the rest of the night, with the companion of the pellets of water descending from the shower and the haunting memory of my latest nightmare.

♣

I still thought thoroughly about the details of the gruesome dream as I dragged my feet towards the school's garden in exhaustion.

Meeting mother this Friday wasn't one of those things I wanted to deal with. But there was no getting around this one, it was a bitter pill that was compulsory that I swallow whenever she decided to put us before 'her busy schedule'

Sigh. 

I sighted her from afar, regardless of the crowd. She was looking dapper and young as ever in her custom made jumpsuit and impeccable makeup.

She and my twin –the loved one– had gotten down to their business of hugs, kisses and smiles when I finally dragged myself to the scene.

Mother's wide smiles made her less formidable and even alluring, it reminded me of the happy days when she used to spend time with both of us without having favorites. When we would play hide and seek and mother would give me a big hug when she discovered me behind my uncreative hiding place.

Mother's smile was like sunshine, just as bright and warm. A smile that froze when I fell into her line of sight.

Joy.

"Look who finally deemed us worthy of her priceless time." I sneered bitterly and stood a full metre away, making no further move to get closer to her and her dramatically gasping, beloved daughter.

"Ella!" My sister gasped in mock shock, expecting to be praised for the action. If I wasn't so exhausted, I would have been amused.

"What twinnie? I'm not allowed to say the truth because it's too bitter for certain bitches to swallow?" The artificial highlight on mother's face grew more ashen, I wondered if that was the latest effect the expensive product added to the faces clueless women nowadays. Sad. So sad.

"Where are your manners Ella? You shouldn't regard our mother in that way!" My twin berated in mock horror, still fishing for applause from mother.