Their Lost Sound

VI. Not Goodbye

I drove slowly through the quiet streets. The town seemed out of focus, as though my eyes had glazed over and I wasn't really there. I could feel the wheel turn beneath my grip and I let the car drive me. Gradually, the blurred shapes began to sharpen, and I saw a familiar suburban street lined with leafy hornbeams. The car slowed to a crawl before stopping across the road from number fifty-six. Kat's house. I sat in the car, waiting, like I had done before, for that tap on the window. Minutes passed, and I remained in the driver's seat, looking down the street, not wanting to look at the house Kat wanted me to go to.

I began to count to one-hundred out loud, and a beat after I said the final number there came three taps on the driver's window. I looked to my left and saw Kat standing there, barefoot, wearing a dark blue dress, the straps of which hung loosely on her pale shoulders. I opened the door and stepped out into the heavy blue air. The clouds overhead had slowed and morphed above like smoke from a cigarette. The air was charged with the sense of electricity that only comes in the moments before a summer thunderstorm, and I felt the energy fizz and crackle as my skin came into contact with the evening air.

"Kat," I said. "Why did you bring me here?" She looked at me for a moment before reaching out and taking my hand.

"Come with me," she said in almost a whisper, then took my hand and started toward her house. We crossed the road and I noticed a white post hammered into the lawn.

"Kat," I said, attempting to stop in front of the sign nailed to the post. "Kat, why is there a 'for sale' sign on your lawn?" Kat did not answer, instead she tugged my hand and continued across the lawn to the front door. We stood in front of the red door at the bottom of the two steps that led to it. "Kat," I began. "What's going on?"

Kat squeezed my hand and then let go of it, and my arm fell to my side. "It's open," she said, and her brown eyes moved from me to the door. I followed her gaze and reached out for the brass handle. There was a gentle click as I twisted it, and the door swung open.

The house was dark, and the darkness pulled me into itself so that I felt my legs moving up and into that hallway before I had even taken a step. The door closed behind me and I found myself alone in the gloom with nothing but the sound of my breathing. Gradually my eyes adjusted and I began to move through the house like a ghost. I opened a door to my left and found myself in Mr Prior's study, though it was not the same as when I had last been there. The bookcases were empty, and where there had been an elaborate rug were now bare floorboards that creaked as I cautiously stepped into the room. The desk, chair, and floor lamp were all covered with dust sheets, that matched the white mesh curtains that still hung by the window.

"If you're ready?" I turned around and saw Mr Prior standing in the doorway of the study.

"Mr Prior?" I asked and he seemed to stare through me before turning. I followed him into the hallway and stopped to look at the photos that remained hanging from the blueish green walls. The first photograph I examined was small and with a thin black frame. Inside, smiling out, were a younger Mr and Mrs Prior, and sitting on Mrs Prior's lap was the baby Kat, though her head was twisted away from the camera and her fists raised as though in an infantile tantrum. I smiled and moved to the next photo. Like the first, it too had a thin black frame, yet inside was Mr Prior and his daughter embracing. Mr Prior's head obscured Kat's, and he smiled with his eyes closed, his expression that of a peaceful and proud parent. I looked at another, and this time Kat stood alone inside the black walls of the frame, and her hair was blown across her face. I moved to another, and then another, and in each photo I examined, Kat, was looking away from the lens, or her face was obscured in some manner.

"Tom?" I looked away from the photographs to see Mr Prior peering out from the kitchen. "Come on Tom, we're waiting."

"Sorry," I said slowly, and moved down the hallway toward the kitchen where Mr Prior stood smiling.