FALLING FOR A VMIN SHIPPER (AMBW)

Ch.18

"Where, what, Taehyung?" I hear Zellies voice foricng me to stop in my tracks. I slowly turn around and face her prepared for her to start shouting at me and telling me how much she hates me and how I'm a selfish jerk or a dickhead possibly both. "What's going on?" She asks as she looks around my room looking confused. I guess she drank so much that she cant even remember what happend.

"I'm sorry did I wake you up?" I ask trying to calm her down a little but she just glares at me with her lips in a pout. I know shes angry at me and really is trying to show that she hates me with her facial expressions but she just looks so cute that I cant take her seriously.

"What am I doing in your bed and in your clothes?" She asks me as she looks down at the hoodie that shes in and begins to cover herself using a blanket from the bed even though I'm the one who changed her she literally has nothing to hide now. There's literally nothing that I haven't seen, like I even saw the birth mark on her lower stomach and the beauty spot on her top of her left boob.

"You messed up your dress with vomit so I had to change you don't worry I don't remember how you look" I lie as I point over at her dirty dress lying on the floor, when ahjumma comes tomorrow morning I'll ask her to deal with it. She glares at me with a suspicious look on her face making me avoid eye contact because I remember every bit of her body. Damn I sound like a creep.

"Good thing you're gay otherwise we would've had a problem" she comments as she ties her hair up making me kiss my teeth at her comment. I look at the door and realise Jin is still here looking at me with his eyes wide opening mouthing the word gay.  "I'm joking" she adds probably after noticing that I wasn't impressed by her comment. I give Jin the eye telling him to leave us alone.

"What were you even doing in a night club?" I ask her with my arms folded across my chest. I look down at her not impressed by her behaviour, this isn't like her, she hates being in places  with large crowds and she hates parties so what made her go there?

"I was angry at you for the way you've been treating me I just wanted to let my hair down" she sighs looking down at her fidgeting hands. I freeze the moment I hear her response realising that this was my fault. "You hurt me so bad, I trusted you I thought we were friends" she adds trying her best to hold back the tears. I approache her and lift her chin up so she can look me in the eyes.

"I know I'm sorry but I had to kiss you like that because of Lucas that was the only way he'd leave you alone." I explain to her as I look deeply into her eyes so that she can know that I'm being genuine, so that she can know that I am truly sorry. I look down at her lips trying my best not to tempted into kissing her again but this time properly.

"I'm sorry if I stole your first kiss, I know you rather it would've been Jimin you know except for the pushing part" she says shuffling away from me bringing me back to reality. Did she really just bring up Jimin again? Whenever I'm with her alone she always finds a way to make things about Jimin. It makes me wonder, does she like me or the idea of me being with Jimin?

"Is that the only reason you're by my side?" I ask her curious to her answer. She looks up at me with her big brown puppy eyes blinking as if trying to come up with an answer.

"Huh?" She questions even though I know she heard what I asked.

"If you didn't think I was gay and had a crush on Jimin, would you still be by my side?" I ask her rephrasing the question making her press her lips together. She pauses and puts on her thinking face as she rubs her bottom lip. All I can do is sit there and hope that there is a part of her that genuinely likes being with me.

"Well your love for Jimin is the reason we became so close but if you have feelings for someone else then I can't judge" she finally speaks up casually shrugging her shoulders catching me off guard. All I can do is stare at her blankly confused to how she has come to this conclusion. How can she not tell that I like her? I mean it's so obvious as well, she's in my bed in my clothes.

"I have feelings for someone else" I say to her crossing my arms over my chest. She looks at me with her eyes widened surprised at my response.

"Who is he?" She asks making my blood boil. Is she serious? Who is he? How did she even get this idea in her head that I was gay? Yes I dont like females but that does not mean I'm gay. I have nothing against gay people but its extremely frustrating when I like someone who sees me with someone else that's a man.

"He? I'm not gay-"

"You cant get better than Jimin trust me, he's got a great personality, thick lips, cute eyes and small hands and did I mention his ass?" She exclaims making me roll my eyes at her. The way she's pitching for Jimin to me is like she really believes that I'm gay, how can I convince her when her mind is already made up. I'm not the jealous type but I can't help but wonder if she talks about me like this too.

"You date him then" I sulk as I fold my arms across my chest and sigh making her punch my shoulder. She may be little and annoying but shes got a strong punch for a girl.

"Yeah I might as well do" she says catching me off guard I wasn't expecting her to agree I thought she'd decline and say no thanks I see him as a brother. The fact that she sees him as a man makes my blood boil, I'm jealous because she sees him as a man but sees me as her gay best friend. Why can't she see me like that? "I'm joking he's all yours" she adds as she rubs my shoulder trying to calm me down but her comment just makes me even more pissed off.

"No you can keep him since you're so obsessed with him" I retaliate feeling hella salty and pissed off for her playing with me like that. She releases a heavy sigh as she looks down at her fingers leaving me confused. Did my words upset her that much?

"Nah I don't deserve him" she speaks up biting the bottom of her lip. I can see the tears forming in her eyes and all that I can think about is what is making her feel so sad? I know I said I don't want her with Jimin but I rather her want Jimin than her beating herself up and thinking that she's too worthless to be with him. Why cant she see how amazing she is?

"Why do you not value yourself?" I ask her curious to what she can possibly say. Hasn't she heard herself talk? Hasn't she supported herself the way shes supported others? Even though I'm not gay, she's supported me and stayed by my side no matter what. She stands up for herself and takes care of herself but she always puts people before herself and is actually very pure and sweet and extremely naive. She isn't scared of anybody but she fears being alone, she can protect the people she loves but she can't protect herself. I don't understand how she can possibly hate herself.

"Because no one has ever valued me" she answers with a faint forced smile on her face. She looks up at me and begins to bat her eyes trying to push back the tears. "I've done things that I'm not proud of so yeah I dont like myself" she says giving me a forced smile and at that second a single tear drops from her eye making her quickly wipe it away with a smile on her face.

"What did you do?" I ask curious to what she could've possibly done to make herself hate herself so much. How dark is her past? I know how traumatic experiences change a person trust me I know, it took me 5 different therapists and Jin to make me talk again but I was never the same again.

"Everything but anal" she answers catching me off guard. She doesn't look up at me to see my reaction meaning I cant see the look on her face. Is she being serious?

"You're joking right?" I ask her waiting for her response but she never answers me back. She continues to play with her fingers as she sniffes and wipes away her tears using the sleeve of my hoodie. "Well I'm not a virgin either" I speak up and say making up look up at me looking confused.

"Whoever he was I bet you he didn't rock your world like Jimin can-"

"I'm not gay for fucks sake I like women" I cut her off and sigh rolling my eyes at her. A second ago she was crying because she hasn't done anal and now shes promoting Jimin. How committed is she?

"Oh yeah name one" she requests with her arms folded across her chest looking up at me like she doesn't believe me.

"You"