Silent Whispers

Chapter 30: Kaput

Arnav watched his brother walk out of the study feeling all the emptiness in the world sweep down over him. 

This isn't about you fulfilling a dead father's wish, or helping us survive in the big bad world. It's about you getting every damn thing you want!

He was hurt, the small boy he tried to save, the angry adolescent he tried to console was reduced to nothing but a bag full of anger, all because of him, because he, the legendary Arnav Singh Raizada, turned into the very thing that haunted his poor brother's dreams.

Really, how blind could he be?

The signs were always there. Akash detested anything and everything to do with "Raizada", so much so that he changed his name and hid his identity, even from the girl he claimed to love. How did he miss that? How did he assume Akash's behaviour was nothing but a phase that would pass in due time?

He was bad a brother. That's how.

He failed to understand his siblings, to take their grief and share their happiness. He was so caught up in his own feelingsto realize that he was loosing the very thing that pushed him to work harder everyday. And now it was too late.

"Bhai?" Anjali called, gently clasping his shoulder. "Are you hearing me?"

Arnav focused on his distraught sister. She was worried, and not to mention scared. Akash had crossed a line from where there was no coming back. She knew that as well as he.

"Bhai?" she said again, checking that she still had his attention.

Arnav took a deep breath. "I'm ok-"

She didn't listen. Pushing a chair forward, she forced him to sit down. "You can lie to Akash all you want," she muttered, grabbing a glass of water. "But I'm not going to buy any of it."

Arnav weakly smiled, stung with memories of his mother. At that moment, he missed her more than anyone. "You sound like Maa..."

Anjali crouched down to meet his eyes. "Don't listen to him," she said, gently. "He is just angry."

"Hurt," Arnav corrected. "Hurt beyond anything... all- all because of me."

"Of course not! It's not your fault the media decided to publish lies."

He didn't answer.

"Listen to me Bhai," she pleaded, holding his frozen hands. "You are a good brother, the best in the world in my opinion. It doesn't matter if the world sees that, or if Akash sees that.... The important thing is that you see it."

"You say that like you mean it-"

"I do!" she replied fiercely. "I really do."

"And what if I told you that everything Akash said was true?"

Anjali stared, not expecting him to accept all the accusations he was relentlessly charged with.

"Would you still believe the same thing?" Arnav asked. He did not really expect an answer from her, but it felt good to say the truth out loud. It saved him the guilt of putting her in the dark, of leading her on with lies.

The shrill ring of Anjali's cell phone interrupted the quiet study. She jumped at the sound and scrambled to pull it out of her jeans. Upon spotting the caller-id, however, she ended the call without another thought.

Arnav watched her closely. "I can run from anything and anyone Anju... but I can't run from myself. And the truth is that I am everything but a good brother. I hurt Akash in ways that I can't even fathom... I can never forgive myself for that. I never will either."