He continues, "I didn't know how to approach you after that. I didn't want you to reject me a second time. But I thought after the night at the camp maybe you felt the same way about me, so I wanted to see if I had a chance."
He turns to me. "But you never took my calls or replied to my messages. I thought you were angry because I'd somehow hurt you that night, but I guess now I know – you just don't want me."
I avoid his gaze with tears running down my cheeks.
"Tell me I'm wrong, Rose," he says. "I want us to be together. Don't you want the same?"
He reaches out his hand. I put up my arm between us. "No, please," I tell him amidst my crying. I don't want him to touch me. "I'm sorry, Luke. I can't."
He stays a few more minutes in the car, listening to my crying, then leaves.
––––
"It's all because of you," I say to Claire. My eyes are swollen and red from crying.
We are at home. It's just us. Everyone else has gone outside.
"How is it my fault?"
"If you and Ben hadn't gotten together, Luke wouldn't have thought of something like this."
"You know what, Rose? You're losing it. What Ben and I have has nothing to do with how Luke feels about you. You both are mates for crying out loud. Luke doesn't need any other reason to fall for you. You are the same. Tell me, don't you like him, too?"
"But we stayed away from each other like we all agreed to – all four of us!"
"Well, maybe it's time we accept how foolish that agreement was!"
"And then what? I go out with Luke behind everyone's back like you are going out with Ben? Isn't it enough that one of us is risking it already?"
"I told you that day, Rose, that we're going to get hurt no matter what we decide. But if we choose our mates, at least we won't suffer alone."
I shake my head. "You're selfish, Claire. You just don't want to be the only one to choose your mate over your pack."
"Is that what you really think? Fine. As usual, I'll be the bad guy and you be the goody two shoes. Don't come crying to me when you start to regret your choices," she says and walks away to her room.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it's wrong of me to take it out on Claire, but I no longer feel like myself.
Everything is messed up.
––––
"What happened? I've never seen you both like this," my mom says.
Claire and I have gone without speaking for five days now. This is the longest I've not spoken to her for. I never thought things would get this screwed up, but they did. We can't take back what we said to one another.
"I don't want to talk about it," I say.
My mom shakes her head. "Whatever it is Rose, at least talk about it to her. Avoiding each other like this is not healthy."
"Why should I be the one to talk first?"
"Why shouldn't you be? You can be a better person and reach out first."
"I don't want to be a better person."
My mom sighs and gives up.
In the past few days, our families, especially our brothers, failed multiple times to bring peace between me and Claire.
They didn't realize we could be this stubborn. Heck, even I didn't realize we could be this stubborn.
To make matters worse, I didn't hear from Luke again. Not that I was expecting to. And I'm pretty sure Claire has stopped seeing Ben.
After school, we both are at home only. Neither of us leaves our house to hang out outside. Who will we hang out with?
If she's not seeing Ben only to appease me, it's not going to work. I need more than that. We both made the promise together to stay away from those two Hill River boys. But she broke it. At the time, I let it slide, because life didn't seem so serious like it does now.
––––
After eating a late-night snack and watching a horror movie, I turn off the TV and put away the dishes. Claire and I did this every Friday night. She didn't join me tonight.
Just as I turn off the kitchen light, it comes – a sharp pain in my lower abdomen.
I hold onto the wall, unable to stand straight. I start to breathe faster and my body starts to feel hot. I know what's happening to me. I've seen it happen to Claire.
I immediately open the fridge and take out a water bottle. I finish drinking it before climbing up the stairs.
By the time I reach Claire's room, I can barely stand. Before I could touch the doorknob, the pain suddenly peaks. I clutch my stomach and crouch down. "Claire!" I say in agony.
In a second, the door opens. "Shit!" she says. She helps me up and takes me to her bed. But I slide down to the floor before she could put me on it. She helps me sit against a leg of the bed and takes out a black bag from under the mattress. It's the same bag Ben gave her.
She fills the syringe and injects it in my neck. I don't feel the needle. My whole body is in so much pain that I can't even perceive the sensation of a needle prick.
Once I start to feel the effect of the drug, I lie down on the floor on my side, curving my back. Claire lies down with me.
After a minute, she says, "You get inhibitors from own your mate, now. I won't share my stash."
I stare at her for a few seconds, and then start laughing. She laughs with me, bringing me closer to her in a hug.
"I'm sorry I broke our promise," she whispers.
"I'm sorry, too," I tell her. I should've opened up to Claire more and been more understanding of her. And I should've done the same with Luke.
#10 Luke Confesses
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