Torn

Prologue

A/N - So this is the prologue to my new novel, which I'm pretty excited to get started on! I'm already a few chapters in and this is totally different from what I've tried before. I really hope you guys like it (: Thanks again for checking it out!

Prologue

Torn: verb – Pull or rip something apart with force.

I always favored that word. How it slipped so easily from your tongue. So many meanings, that little word. Four letters, such completely different meanings. You could physically tear something apart, like a piece of paper into miniscule pieces. A person could emotionally be torn between a lover and a friend. Or something…or rather someone, could leave you torn apart.

I’d written this small word onto a slip of paper and passed it Flynn. When he picked it up in his large hands, he raised a furrowed eyebrow. I knew he wouldn’t understand what it meant, why the word was so significant to how I was feeling. So many meanings that little word held, but I’d only ever felt the last one. I never knew a person could make you feel so torn up, so hollowed out yet heavy in the same instance. You’d think that I would be able to control my own feelings, make sure I was put together.

“How is this supposed to tell me anything pertaining to my question?” Flynn asked in a hushed tone.

I merely shrugged in response. That was all he going to get out of me. How could I trust some random boy from English class with such a huge secret like this one? He hadn’t gotten a word out of me since day one. And he wasn’t about to get one out of me now.

Ever since he bounded into my life, I’d always wondered if Flynn ever felt torn. Maybe he couldn’t decide which girl he wanted to remain steady with. There could be a possibility that he was torn who to spend time with on his weekends, one group of friends or the other. I knew nothing about Flynn Avery, other than the fact that he had an older brother who used to be a football player. Oh, and that he liked to poke his nose into people’s businesses that he had no relevance to.

“How long are we going to play this game, Willow?” he huffed, shoving the slip of paper into his pant’s pocket.

I shrugged once again, not letting him get the satisfaction of an answer. I picked up my books from the desk in the detention hall and made my way to get up. Flynn quickly followed as the bell sounded around us, and wouldn’t let me leave without an explanation. This much I knew.

He walked me all the way home, until we hit the corner of our block. I paused in contemplation, wondering if my father had shown up from his job interview yet. I pressed the heavy textbooks into my chest and turned to face the persistent, personified asshole standing just inches from me. I breathed in a long breath, hoping maybe I could get the words out this time. Maybe just this once, I could let someone know what was really going on with me. I could finally let the words fall freely from my tongue.

But when I met his eyes, I couldn’t utter a word.

I pulled out my cell phone from my jacket pocket and quickly typed a message to him with one hand. When I finished, I turned the screen so it faced him and he frowned at the words he read. He looked up at me with those bright blue eyes, always filled with wonder and an emotion I couldn’t quite place; the emotion that always seemed to be present in him.

“I’m not going to leave you in the middle of some random street corner when it’s almost getting dark,” he said, eyeing me down almost angrily.

If he was so angry, why didn’t he just leave me the hell alone?

You know I live just up the street, I typed quickly, showing it to him again. He frowned, shaking his head at me once again.

“I don’t care. I’m not letting you walk home alone. I’m the one who got you the detention. The least I could do is walk you to your door,” he smirked, the small dimple cracking beneath the surface of his right cheek. “Plus, you know we’re neighbors anyway.”

I’ll be fine. Please leave. Go see Olivia.

He sighed heavily. “I’m not giving up you know,” he said, leaning causally against the metal fence on the resident’s yard we were standing in front of.

Maybe to anyone else in my situation, they would be almost thrilled to hear those words come from someone else, someone willing to help. Those words meant the person wasn’t planning on leaving, wasn’t planning on hurting you. If they wanted to help you this badly, they wouldn’t try to screw it up by hurting you. If I was like those other people, I’d probably smile and accept the statement. I’d be instantly removed of the weight from my shoulders by opening up to him, letting him know my secret.

But I wasn’t like everyone else.

Stop trying.

He shook his head once again, those pesky strands of hair falling into his eyes. Some girls might have found that almost swoon-worthy. I just found it to be another annoying trait to Flynn’s infinite list. I knew that if I made a move to walk to my front door, only a few houses down, that he’d follow me. I couldn’t risk my father seeing him at the front door. I needed to get rid of him and fast.

That girl you talked to in the hall today, the one who likes to flip her hair a lot, she’s coming this way.

I knew it wasn’t alright to lie to a boy like Flynn, a boy who obviously cared about me and what I was hiding. But I couldn’t just chance my father seeing him walk me home. I couldn’t take it if Flynn questioned once again the things that he saw in class today. I didn’t want to answer anymore questions; listen to him feed me more bullshit about how much he wanted to help. I just wanted to finish this day in my bedroom, locked away from the effects of the outside world I was forced to stay in until graduation.

When he read the text that was written across the screen, he widened his eyes momentarily and looked over his shoulder. I took my chance quickly, making a run for it before he turned to look back at my retreating figure. With my textbooks pulled tight against my chest, I made a last minute decision to jump behind the bush outside of my neighbor’s front yard. I ducked beneath the plethora of leaves poking from all sides, watching Flynn’s face fall as he looked back for me.

He threw his arms up in frustration and ran a hand through that disheveled, blondish brown mess that he called hair. It started to pour in that moment, the dark grey clouds finally covering up the last image of light for the day. As the rain pelted against my hair, sticking it to my cheeks, I kept a firm eye on Flynn. I couldn’t make a move towards my house until he was gone. When he left, I could run to the door and forget that this conversation with him today ever happened. I could go about my life keeping these secrets and dealing with all of this on my own. I’ve been doing it on my own for years, doing it alone now wouldn’t change a thing.

As he threw his hood up, shielding himself from the pelting rain drops, he shouted into the air. “You can run now, Willow. But I’m not giving up. Someone needs to help you!”

He walked the opposite way in which we walked, probably off to see Olivia, almost stomping his feet against the wet pavement. I shook my head angrily, but relieved that he was finally out of sight and out of mind. Flynn wasn’t going to be the exception. Nothing made him different from any other person who wondered why I wouldn’t open up; let them know what was really going on. He could try all he wanted to; it didn’t mean that he was going to find out anything.

But, as much as I hated Flynn for meddling too much into my personal life, I found myself using him in a way as I turned my key into the lock slowly, repeating something he said. It was something I thought might help soften the blow once I stepped foot through the door. So, I gently placed my textbooks, bag, and keys on the dining room table, careful not to disturb him. I then repeated a new mantra, all thanks to Flynn. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath, hoping that just maybe I was home alone. It was nice for a few moments, believing that, until I heard the familiar, heart wrenching creak in the wooden floor boards as he neared the room I was in.

I’m not giving up. I’m not giving up. I’m not giving up.