It's been a little over a month since I made this friendship with Luke official and I can honestly say that things have been looking up, slightly. I don't want to get my hopes up because maybe I'm just feeling somewhat better because I am keeping myself busy, not because I am truly better.
The first couple of weeks were tough, Luke was constantly checking my arms and making me update him on the eating but it seems like he thinks I'm okay now, which I'm not complaining about because now I don't have to be stressed over if he's going to catch me or not.
Part of me wants to try and get 'better' for him, I'm not sure why, I just do but there's no point in trying if I don't want to get better for myself because it won't work if I'm doing it for someone else.
Lately, Michael and I have been spending more time together too. I was a little skeptical of it at first but now I realize how much I missed him.
Michael and I were currently on my couch watching some horrible Netflix movie that we just kept on to make fun of after the first 10 minutes. My parents were gone as usual and Michael was free so here we are. I can gladly say one thing that has changed is, I haven't been as lonely.
"I'll be right back." I said as I heard a knock upon the door.
I opened the door to be met with a very frustrated looking Luke who barged past me and stopped to look at Michael then back at me.
"When are you two not together?" He spat, making Michael jump up and leaving me confused.
"What's wrong, Luke?" I questioned.
"You two! You're always together. You've been spending way too much time together."
"What the fúck? Who are you to tell me who I can and can't hangout with?"
"Yeah, you wouldn't even know she existed if it weren't for me telling you." Michael added, making my snap my focus towards him.
I don't know why, but that stung a little. I knew michael didn't have that intention, and it should've been expected like, how else would Luke know me? I figured he just saw me and took interest or something, I didn't think he'd only know of me because of his friend.
"Fúck you, Michael. I saw her and asked you about her, that was all. That's not even the point, this is about you guys."
"Yeah well, me and her use to be quite close years ago, so I'm just going to give you time to cool off because I don't know what's wrong with you right now." Michael said, giving me a sympathetic look before leaving and as I thought about what he said, I knew this wasn't ending well.
"What-" He stopped, bringing his hands to his face and rubbing his eyes before turning to me.
"It was him, wasn't it?" I nodded as he went to pick up his jacket and leave.
"What's wrong, Luke? Please don't just leave, talk to me." I begged.
"I don't know, Violet. That's the problem! I'm trying to figure out what's wrong myself and now I just learned that my best friend and my new best friend fúcked each other years ago!"
I knew as soon as he called me by my full name that he was over this. He left and I had no energy to chase him down. I just stood there, confused as to what the hell just happened. It's only been a month and things like this are already happening. This is why I can't handle people and friends, it's too much.
-
Lukes P.O.V.
"Ashton, I messed up so badly." I groaned, plopping down on the couch.
"What happened?" He muted the tv and turned his attention towards me.
"I went to Violets and Michael was there and I just flipped out because they've been spending so much time together."
"What'd you do?"
"I was just yelling, and Michael knows me so he knows I just needed space and time to cool down but Violet is probably so confused." I explained.
"And on top of that Ashton, I learned that Michael is the guy she lost her virginity to."
"What?"
"How did you figure that out?" He added a moment later.
"Well, when we officially became friends in her world I was asking her questions. I asked her something about if she'd be the type of person to wait until marriage or not care, I don't know and I don't even know why I asked but she told me she already lost it and explained some things, I was so shocked but I kept it in. Then Michael said "me and her use to be quite close" and I just put two and two together, for christ sake he told me before I started talking to her that he knew her but he just said briefly!"
"Woah, that's a lot to take in. I think you need to start by talking to Michael and getting that out of the way and then I think you need to talk to Violet about the feelings you have for her because she's probably confused."
"Yeah- Wait what? What feelings? I don't have feelings for her." Ashton chuckled.
"You obviously do, why else would you be so worked up about them spending time together and having sèx years ago?"
"Maybe that's what I have been so lost about." I mumbled to myself.
I got up, immediately calling Michael to get that out of the way and that consisted of apologies and understandings. Then to Violet, I just sent her a simple text but she didn't respond and her being her, well, I needed to know she was okay so I made my way back to her place.
-
Violets P.O.V.
I heard a knock at the door and I had no plan to answer it but whoever it was, was persistent. I opened the door, not expecting to be met face to face with Luke but here he was.
"Oh, thank god, you're okay." He said, grabbing me, hugging me, and checking all over me.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled slightly because that was a lie. He can check my arms but he's obviously not going to check my thighs or anywhere else.
I felt awful for doing what I did because I hadn't in so long and I didn't even necessarily do it because of Luke, I just had so many emotions built up that I needed to get out and that was the coping skill I was most use to.
-
Yikes a lot went down
