virago|c.g.|

xxxii

Clary sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror, the quick glance allowing her to see how different she looked compared to the girl she had been in Solaris. The Commander, with dark clothing and dark eyes filled with horrors of the past was no more as she could only see this different version of her. With a light gray tank top and flannel unbuttoned over, she looked... normal. Clary knew she was different, even seeing that as her dark eyes seemed almost light with a happiness she never thought Alexandria could give her. So, perhaps her clothing had changed, and maybe so had she.

"So you're going."

Clary turned towards the entrance of her room, surprised to see Carl leaning against her doorframe. He smiled before making his way to her, sitting down on her bed before looking up at her. A smile soon rose on her face before she sat next to him, hearing a soft sigh come from him. "I know you said you know these people but— you have to be careful. They might not be the people you knew." Clary shrugged. "I know, and I will be. You don't have to worry about me." Carl shook his head, silence ensuing for a moment and the two unmoving.

Carl's hand inched towards hers before he wrapped her hand in his. She knew the act was small, but it felt so different than when she had held his hand in the infirmary. This meant something else. "I know, but I still do." Clary looked to the boy, seeing his face serious. Trying to lighten the mood, she bumped him with her shoulder. "You wouldn't have to if you came with us." Carl shook his head, a light smile on his face. "No, I need to be here. Someone has to keep this place safe, especially when you're not around to do it." Clary laughed as she looked to Carl, still aware of their intertwined hands. She didn't want to fear this intimacy with him. He had become a close friend, and she hated to admit it but there were times she wondered if there was something more.

Clary chose to pull away from the boy, knowing that she could sit there with him for as long as he did. Grabbing her sword, she clipped it to her belt before she looked to Carl, who stood with his eye still on her. "The RV is pretty much packed up. Although, Jesus is waiting downstairs to speak with you." Clary nodded, the two walking downstairs, Clary's eyes meeting Jesus as he milled around in the living room.

With a quick goodbye, Carl walked out to give the two some privacy. "The mighty Clarissa Dean. I knew you were too strong to fall." His features softened. "But I am sorry for Solaris, truly. You know how much I admired you and your people." Clary let out a soft sigh, nodding. "I have no doubt they fought till the end. Maybe that's what hurts the most, knowing there was a fight that I couldn't help them in." Jesus nodded his head in agreement, knowing the girl would have done anything to help her people. The thought faded as she sighed, her eyes resting back in him. "But your apology for my losses can't be all you need to speak to me privately about, is it?" Jesus shook his head before motioning for her to follow him. She did so, the two stopping by the window and Jesus pushing away the curtain to reveal the group headed to Hilltop packing up. "As much as I know Solaris had been important to you, I see how you are now and it's different, but good. You seem happier, less... battle worn." Clary said nothing, simply keeping her eyes on her people.

"But I know you were busy, Angel of Death."

Clary's face turned to stone, her jaw clenching as she turned to Jesus. She saw his warm smile turn into a ghost as he nodded solemnly. "I'd hoped it wasn't you that had a bounty on your head. I guess that isn't the case." Clary leaned forward, her jaw clenched. "How do you know? Does anyone in Hilltop know—" Jesus shook his head, easing her. "Not at all. Every wanted poster I saw while out of the walls, I tore them down in case it was you. That's the only reason I knew you were alive and that you were the Angel of Death."

Seeing her unsure gaze, Jesus smiled reassuringly. "As far as I know, Hilltop has no idea about you even being Commander, much less the Angel of Death." Clary nodded, slightly comforted at the fact that she wouldn't be a danger joining the group to Hilltop. "What about Gregory?" Clary asked. "He's clueless too. And you know him, didn't even remember the name of Commander Boswell. Leon didn't introduce you or the group he had brought individually, so there's no reason he should remember you from Solaris." Clary nodded, peace suppressing her worry that she'd be recognized by anyone within the walls of Hilltop. Jesus watched her face ease.