Miraculous Ladybug One-Shots

"Choices"

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains mentions of self-harm and explicit suicidal thoughts. Reader discretion is advised.

This was requested by CaramelPenguin ! Somebody wanted some good ol' angst.

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Sighing had become second nature at this point. He had just done it again, silence being his answer.

It was somewhat difficult to avoid doing it in class, since in those instances, he would usually drift off and just... think. Recently, Adrien had realized that he wasn't happy. Whatever he was feeling before, was a simple illusion. It wasn't real. His brain was tricking him into thinking he was happy. Now it was clear he wasn't.

At first, he thought being Chat Noir would bring real joy into his life. That alter ego gave him the opportunity to be free and express himself without any fears whatsoever. As Chat Noir, he didn't have to care about what his father thought. He didn't have to care about schedules, photo shoots, being perfect all the time. He had some time for himself, even if it was just a few minutes. If the boy was lucky, he could wander around the silent streets of Paris for hours at night. His well-deserved joy was real, at last.

Until obstacles rose in his path as Chat Noir. Hardships were something he had been expecting. Life wasn't perfect, after all. But he was sure that with his Ladybug, he'd be able to overcome them. They were an amazing team, always fighting against anything that would threaten their happiness. Chat Noir didn't doubt that, he was sure Ladybug would support him with anything he needed. This time though, it wasn't something they could overcome together.

Could he blame her for being the source of his problems?

Could he really?

No. It wasn't her fault, she wasn't doing anything at all to make him miserable. She was just being her amazing self, so who was to blame here? Because there had to be someone, right? Chat had gone through a lot of self-reflection to find out the root of his crisis, and eventually, he found it! The root was himself.

He was incompetent. Mediocre. He'd always give his best, but it was never enough. It never would be enough. Ladybug didn't have to try, on the other hand. She just had to smile at someone and everything would be okay. Effortlessly, she had become Paris' star heroine. Chat was happy for her, and he was head over heels for her too. No wonder... for someone as weak as him, someone strong was the emotional support he needed.

As he thought of that, he let out a shaky breath, looking down from the Eiffel Tower.

Adrien was on the verge of tears. What would she think if she saw him like this? What would she do if she found out how he had harmed himself? Nino had noticed he was using more long-sleeved t-shirts and sweaters. I'm cold, Adrien would say. I have a photo shoot after this, he'd lie other days. Nino would never insist on knowing more, since Adrien would always cover up his suffering with a smile on his face.

Lately, he'd wake up with a knot in his chest, and wouldn't want to get out of bed. Whenever Plagg was asleep, Adrien felt alone. No way he was waking up his kwami, Plagg didn't deserve to be bothered with his problems. Alone in his room, with no one truly around, he'd let the tears pour out. Those were good nights. On the bad nights? He just had to make sure not to taint his white bedsheets with crimson red.

End it.

His eyes widened slightly, his thoughts stopping dead on their tracks. That voice... it was back. Where did it come from, he didn't know, and he didn't care. Its tone, its warmth was so... welcoming. It was as if it was calling him from the ground down below. The voice wanted him to just let himself go.

End it all.

Chat Noir stood up almost robotically, without taking his gaze away. It seemed so trustworthy, the voice, like it only wanted the best for him. Why else would it suggest something so extreme? It couldn't be hard. It would only be a second.

No more suffering.

His father wouldn't miss him, he was sure. Adrien always strived for perfection, yet, like he had said before, it would never be enough He could finally be with his mother again. He could be happy.

Just one jump.

He took one step closer to the ledge. Chat only had to let himself fall, nothing more, nothing less. After that, close his eyes and say the de-transformation words after a few seconds.

Do it.

Adrien could feel Plagg trying to stop him, trying to pull him back to safety. His kwami would be one of the few he'd miss.

You deserve happiness.

He was always a good person. He did deserve happiness, didn't he?

It'll all be over.

Adrien would finally be free.

Step off.

He wouldn't bother anyone ever again.

Close your eyes and let yourself go.

He could see his mother again...

Do it.

The hero raised his foot slightly, ready to let his weight fall and let gravity do the work. He was a second away from doing it! How hard could it be?

JUMP!

"Chat! Hey! I didn't have anything else to do, so mind if I make you company during your patrol?"

Ladybug.

He immediately stepped away, breathing heavily and looking down at his hands. He had been about to...

"Chaton, are you alright?" the heroine asked, walking over and placing a hand on his shoulder. The person in question shut his eyes close for a second before opening them again, offering his lady a fake yet seemingly genuine smile. "Yes, I was just thinking."

Her smile softened. "Race to Notre Dame?" He chuckled and nodded. "You got it." She patted his shoulder a couple of times before walking over to their usual starting line. Chat, meanwhile, looked down at the ground where his corpse would be lying on, the image flashing in his mind for a second.

... Maybe some other day.

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The end (?)

I don't usually write a lot of angst, and this was my first true attempt at it. Good practice right there. Hope you liked it, and thanks for the suggestion!