『 ʙᴇɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜʀғᴀᴄᴇ ⋙ sᴏᴘᴇ 』✔︎

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕪 𝕤𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟

And for that reason, Hoseok's actions came off as sweeter than any other person who may have done the same. Because it showed just how selfless and kind-hearted Jung Hoseok could be.

Which, Yoongi was not at all surprised by whatsoever.

Right when Hoseok entered the friend group, he radiated this intense feeling of high spirits and innocence, one that had never hit Yoongi so strongly before.

Even when he didn't particularly take interest in the boy, it would be a lie to say he hadn't thought he was the sweetest person alive. Hell, someone from a different school would say the same thing just from watching the happy and joyful boy skip down a sidewalk.

With a heart shaped smile, squinted eyes from the wide grin, and a happy little prance, Hoseok could attract anyone or everyone towards him.

Because who wouldn't want to be surrounded by a little bundle of joy?

Well, apparently Yoongi, but at least the dense male moved passed his grudges and began to ultimately warm up to him.

Currently, the said boy was riding the train home from school, his mint-haired head buried into his phone. Music blasted through his air pods, to which Yoongi freely bobbed his head up and down to, basking in the peaceful moment with no worries.

And at any chance he got, Yoongi always made sure to cherish times like these.

Free of worries.

Just Yoongi in his own little world, blocking out the bigger and scarier reality as he enjoyed his own made up fantasy.

A fantasy with no regrets that continuously picked at his skin, where he didn't have to worry about anyone hating him, and where all his relations were stable and healthy.

But, of course, life was like that.

Bumpy roads were essential for life, if someone didn't experience some drawbacks then, what was the point? From those mistakes and regrets, one learns and improves their own self to move forward, and progress to a better future.

And, Yoongi hates to admit it, but at times like this he was jealous of Hoseok.

Whenever he happened to lay his eyes on the younger male, not once had he seen him not smiling or laughing with someone, instantly creating this jubilant atmosphere around them. Yoongi doubted Hoseok had any bad relationships with anyone, as the younger was just too sweet for anyone to hate on his pure heart.

He was envious of the fact that Hoseok blended in to the friend group so well by the first day, mixing as if he had known them for years. Sure, Hoseok was awkward and still is, but that was apart of his goofy charm.

Perhaps that was one of the many reasons Yoongi formed this simple minded and unnecessary resentment towards the brunet.

Because it took practically a couple years for Yoongi to build up the relationship he had with his friends, while with Hoseok it naturally came to him.

That made his skin boil.

And as much as Yoongi hates himself for it, scolded himself constantly telling himself that it wasn't Hoseok's fault, there was still that underlying jealousy.

And Yoongi wanted nothing more than to rip it out and burn it in a never ending fire.

It didn't help that Hoseok had nothing but good intentions, and was already insecure about people disliking him as it is. The subtle thought made Yoongi's heart break, and only made him blame himself more.

He was the cause of any unhappiness that Hoseok endured.

Or at least, that's what Yoongi told himself.

If only the male knew how much that wasn't true, but atlas, theres so much the two oblivious boys don't know about each other. Which pains them both endlessly.

Because both Yoongi and Hoseok want to know more about one another, they want to understand their internal struggles and past life experiences, since that was the reason why the two had an unsteady part in their relationship right off the bat.

It was all just a simple misunderstanding of each other's feelings and intentions.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Yoongi slowly opened his eyes from his daydream as he heard his arrival street being called through the intercom,

'Up next, Madison Rd'

Sighing heavily, the male stood up tossing his large and book-filled backpack over his shoulder, as his hand grabbed at a pole nearby as to balance himself on the rocky train.

Finally seeing his stop come into view from the train window, Yoongi hastily stepped out along with other passengers and began his walk home.

It wasn't too cold out, but the chill breeze bit at Yoongi's delicate skin, causing the boy to shiver beneath the grey skies and cool air. He was just thankful it wasn't raining, as it usually is, since he would end up getting soaked and afterwards catch a cold.

Through aching muscles, his toned yet tired legs managed to carry his sturdy body the few blocks it took to reach home.

It nearly killed his energy-drained self, as with every step his breath only hitched and grew shorter, as by the end of it he was practically gasping for air on his doorstep with bright red and panting cheeks.

When Yoongi did reach the long awaited porch, he let himself collapse onto the stone paved steps right away, barely caring if his neighbors sent quizzical or judgmental stares.

Because at this point, Yoongi had no energy left, barely enough to make it though his doorway entry. Kicking off his shoes basically stripped away the last of it, causing the boy to just reside in working on his homework in the kitchen as he was sure he would pass out if he even attempted to move upstairs.

But, Yoongi wasn't upset because he was in physical pain.

No.

He was disappointed that he couldn't spend the next six hours or so shooting hoops, heavily practicing or exercising himself to his full extent.

I'm so weak, Yoongi mumbled to himself, only wanting to do warm ups or conditioning in preparation for the game.

I cant even handle simple practices anymore, what the f*ck is wrong me with?

I'm so pathetic, Mom and Dad worked so hard to get our family where we are yet here I am, crying because I can barely do simple drills.

Letting the buildup of anger and self resentment build up, Yoongi couldn't hold back anymore before he let out a blood curling and agitated scream.

Because in his mind, he had already lost.

🍓hope u enjoyed ༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ!
🍼also, for chapters like these where it's a bit heavier with more self degrading thoughts and such, would you guys like a trigger warning? I never really thought about putting one, but my worst fear is upsetting people. Please let me know, thank you 🥺💖!
🍓editor/assistant: jiminie_cricket_