Getting Wilder ✔️

issue thirteenth: broken not bent

I sighed and shut my eyes. I had heard enough to know that they were arguing. My heart sank further and I fixed my gaze on the cream coloured wall, vaguely wondering if Wilder would come to see me.

My mom was intent on pressing charges against my 'assaulters.' However, I didn't want to make things worse than they already were. Plus, it felt like my own personal battle against them. More so, I wasn't innocent either. I was the one who had made the first move, and that would work against me.

They were still arguing when I heard a soft whine and gazed at the foot of the bed where a furry head was peeking at me with glistening, dark eyes. 

"Arfie, come here boy," I whispered softly. He slowly walked over to me, his tail drooping. He lay his head on the mattress and gazed at me, imploring.

I smiled at him and turned to my side, wincing at the slight pain. I gently poked his snout with my index finger. "Boop."

He licked his nose, his ears perking up. He whined again, nuzzling my hand with his nose.

I chuckled. "Thank you for your concern, Arfie," I gently patted his head and answered solemnly. "I promise you that I will be healthy soon and take you on a very long walk."

He smiled. Because dogs do smile and I refuse to believe that they don't cry. He wagged his tail slowly, moving his furry head closer to me. My mom came and stood in front of me, smiling.

"Have some rest honey, I'll make your favourite dinner in the meantime okay? Some chicken and rice?" 

I nodded, struggling to smile back at her as she left the room. My dad walked over to me, his eyes boring deep into mine as he sighed, "If you tell us who did this, Nic, I promise you-" he stuttered when I glared at him defiantly. Finally, he took a deep breath in defeat. "Take care."

He patted my head awkwardly and went away, shutting the door gently behind him. I reached for my phone, lying on the bedside table. I expected my mom must have kept it there and unlocked it to see an unread text from Wilder.

My heart gave a massive jolt as I quickly opened it.

'hope you're well.
I made you the admin for HeadyLines. You can upload content on your own now. It's formatted. It was fun working with you.
Goodluck'

I stared at the message for a while, my stomach clenching in despair. I felt like someone was impaling my heart with a white-hot blunt object. My chest felt empty and heavy and at the same time. Even though I assumed I was on a buttload of painkillers, none of them seemed to be working against the anguish in my heart.

I placed my phone back on the bedside table, frustrated. I gazed up at the ceiling for a few seconds before reaching for my phone again. If he was at practice, he could simply not pick up the phone. At least he could see the missed call and call back.

I called him and let it ring seven times before hanging up. I sighed and gazed despondently at the phone screen, my heart settling somewhere around my navel. I saw a slew of texts from Cam and Ray and cursed under my breath. I expected by this time the news to have spread around the school. I wrote a quick text to Cam, telling him I was alright and would call him soon and forwarded it to Ray as well.

I called Wilder a few more times after that, coming up empty-handed. I gazed at my phone as if it had harmed me personally. What had happened? Was he mad at me? I didn't even remember what had happened except flinging myself into his arms. Was that why?

There was a quiet knock on the door and I turned to see Kailey. Her shoulders drooped slightly, her lips quivering. Her face was devoid of any colour and even more astoundingly, her usual smirk. She looked scared, and somehow it bewildered me. I quickly fixed my gaze back on the ceiling. 

"Nico...how are you?" she asked timidly as she walked over to me and sat near the foot of the bed.

"Crackin'."

She sighed. An uncomfortable silence fell, punctuated only by Arfie's breathing when she finally spoke in a soft voice as if hoping I wouldn't hear her. "I broke up with Matt."

"Congratulations," I said, feeling slightly relieved and finally looking at her. 

"He...he got suspended for a week."

I stuttered and stared at her, confused. "What? Really?"

She bit her quivering lip and nodded. "Honestly, I'm not surprised. He had received so many warnings before..."

I bit my tongue, my heart sinking. Even though I hated the deplorable excuse for a human being, I hadn't wanted for him to get suspended. It would be a huge blot on his record. More so, he would want to avenge and somewhere, the thought scared me a little. 

"H-how?" I asked.

She took a deep breath. "I...I don't really know. He just told me that...that he has been suspended. That's it." She sighed and placed her hand on my arm, her eyes glistening. She bit her lip nervously as if afraid I would yell at her. "Does it hurt?"

"What do you want, Kay?" I asked shortly. Even though my brotherly, protective instincts had made me do what I had, that didn't change the fact that she was a bona fide bitch and it wasn't going to undo her absolute apathy towards me. Maybe she knew that because she sighed and didn't pursue the subject immediately further.

I wondered how the school authorities were even aware of what had happened. I hadn't told anyone and Wilder didn't seem like the kind of guy who would tell on anyone no matter what. Was it some onlooker? 

Kailey called Arfie towards her and he promptly went to her, climbing onto the bed and laying with his head on her lap.

Traitor.

She stroked his head gently, her eyes fixed on me. "Brad is throwing a party next week, at his place."

I gritted my teeth, unable to see the significance of her little announcement.  "What for?"

She sighed, sounding almost amused as she spoke, "He's getting a jag."

I laughed, the action making my chest hurt. "So basically a party where he can flex his dad's money on half the school? Wow. Perfect Saturday."

She was quiet. "I just wanted to invite you. Mom is always asking you to get out more and...you could be my plus one."

I stared at her in disbelief. "So have you finally decide to kill your social status and associate with your mongrel brother?"

She shook her head, her eyes glistening. "Come on, Nico. I...I think you will enjoy. You don't even have to meet with Brad. Just..."

I gazed her for a while, trying to figure out if she was kidding or not. However, for once in a lifetime, her eyes seemed sincere enough. I didn't answer right away. "Alright. I'll...I'll let you know."

She rose to her feet and sighed. "I...hope you feel better."

She turned and walked away, leaving a deathly silence in her wake. I stared at the closed door long after she had disappeared, a sudden sadness in my heart. It felt like my sister and I had an invisible wall between us. We were as different as night and day, we always had been. But she was still the sister I used to experiment cooking with, she was still the sister I roamed around the neighbourhood with, she was still the sister I watched movies with. Everything had changed and now all my memories seemed to be part of a dusty pile I had thrown somewhere in the back of my mind with my fondest memories.

 I sighed and reached for the phone again, deciding to call Wilder. Once again, there was no response and although my entire body was sore, the ache in my heart somehow dominated everything else. 

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