Chapter 4

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“Calm down, woman!” I half-yelled. What was wrong with this girl. If I was about to kidnap this kid I would've ran already. She flinched a little under my voice but didn’t say anything else. Just when she was about to walk away, a girl stopped her.

“Give me the kid” she said to the mother, I guess, of the kid. I instantly felt an alarm going through my body.

“Manar, I said give me the kid” the girl yelled before – as I figured out- Manar could even respond. She tried to grab the child out of her hands but Manar wouldn’t let go.
“Who do you think you are?! He is my child! Just, shut up Lara” I heard her yell. She was still trying to grab the child but Manar moved so that the child was behind her back.

“It’s not your child. It’s Nourdin’s” I heard the other girl say. I looked over at Manar. She froze for a second before she got angrier. I immediately didn’t like this Nourdin-guy.

“Nourdin has nothing to do with my child. He means nothing to him” she said. I took a step to end things before it got worse. I reached my hands out for Manar to give me Karim. She looked at me for a second, as if she was trying to find something, and after a few seconds she gave me Karim.

I then turned to the other girl.

“I think you should leave” I said. I was a patient person till you pushed me. Now, I was really at the edge. Why? I didn’t know. The girl looked at as if she was trying to figure out who I was.

“And who do you think you are?” she said. I rolled my eyes. I grabbed Manar by her arm and pushed her behind me. I didn’t know why but I had a feeling that the girl in front of me wasn’t alone.

“You should leave before I break my promise never to hit a girl” I said for the last time. The girl looked me in the eyes for a few seconds before she turned to Manar.

“This isn’t over. We are going to take that from you. Just wait” she said and walked away. I heard a little cry from behind me and turned around. Manar was just looking to the floor and grabbed Karim from my hold. Karim started to cry and she rocked him back and forth a little.

“Thanks” I heard her say. Then she turned around and went over to a buggy. She placed Karim in it before she placed her hand to her head. I didn’t know what was going on with me. My brain apparently wasn’t in charge as I felt my feet dragging me into her direction. It was as if she was the center of gravity right now, and I was being directed towards her. Towards them.

"I'll walk you home" I said. Okay, that sounded maybe creepy to her because we just met. I just had a feeling to protect them, her son precisely,  especially after the incident from a few minutes ago.

“Thanks, but no. I can walk myself” she said while putting a blanket around Karim.

“It’s for Karim” I said. She then looked at Karim for a second before she nodded. She started walking and I followed her, walking beside her with a small space between us. I wanted to ask her about the incident so badly but I knew it wasn’t my business.

“Why haven’t you asked yet?” she half whispered only for me to hear. My head snapped towards her before I lowered my gaze again.

“Karim..Karim’s father.. They want to take him from me” she replied. She said the word ‘father’in disgust, like it hurt her.

“Aren’t you married?” I asked her. When I saw her with Karim, I really thought she was married. She let out a bitter laugh.

“No” she replied shortly. I nodded, even though I knew she didn’t see it.

“And your family?” I asked her quietly. I didn’t want to scare her away or make her mad. She really had anger problems as far as I experienced.

“They didn’t believe me” she whispered. If I didn’t have a good hearing, I would not have even heard her. I didn’t understand what she meant by that but I didn’t ask further. It was her business, not mine. After a few minutes, she stopped in front of an apartment. She turned towards me but didn’t look me in the eye.

“Thanks.. for helping me today” she said. I just nodded and went over to Karim, who was already asleep. I squeezed his cheek and felt tingles in my fingers from where I touched his skin. I had never felt anything like this before. It felt sweet and calming.SubhanAllah.. I smiled a bit before taking steps backwards.

“Assalamu aleykum, Manar” I said before walking away. I smirked a bit before my smirk turned into a smile. I didn’t know why I felt so happy. I really didn’t. Something was wrong with me.

~

I stood there frozen for a bit. He was already gone but I was still looking in the direction where he went. I didn’t know he was muslim. I mean, he was blond with blue eyes so I thought he was just an American. Maybe he wasn’t muslim or Arab or.. What? I shook my head to end the confusion in my head. Then I laughed a bit to my dumbness before going inside. When I was about to open the door, I saw a note. Again. When was it going to stop.. I took it to read it. ‘You pushed me inside, but don’t forget that it wasn’t for ever’, it said. Fear crept into my mind. In a reflex I opened the door and went inside with Karim. I looked in every room to see if there was someone or something but no, there was nothing. I then realized that ‘inside’didn’t mean my house. But what then? I grabbed Karim and placed him in my bed. He was going to sleep next to me tonight. I couldn’t let anything happen to him. I kissed his cheek before squeezing it.

“I will protect you, even though it would mean the end of my life” I whispered. I prayed the prayers I missed before I was sitting on the floor, just doing dhikr. I then opened my hands. It was dark, but I liked the dark. It was like everything was gone. Like we were on a whole different planet where only you and your creator exist.

“Ya Allah, you see the struggle I am in. Only you can give and you can take. Please, give me strength. Give me the strength to fight them. It is difficult. It hurts. I am so scared that they will take him one day. Karim is all I have. I have no family. I only have you and Karim. Of course, I have a friend. But she is just a friend. It’s not the same as family. Please, Allah I beg you, give me the strength and please don’t let anyone take Karim from me” I prayed. Tears were streaming down. The memories came back. From the moment when it happened to when my father kicked me out. They didn’t believe me. They won’t ever believe me. I lost them, just like I lost everything. I dried my tears and stood up. The lights were already off so I crept into bed next to Karim. I wrapped my arms around his waist and put him on my chest. Just when I was about to drift to sleep, I heard a loud thud and then things were crashing down and glass was surely shattering

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I was going to stop with Islam is my Life, but it helped so many people out and I still get a lot of messages about them so I wanted to continue it. For the people who haven’t read my first story: I wrote in the end of a few chapters things about Islam. For example about friends, family, hijab etc.


 Islam is my Life

‘What if I die right now? I have nothing to take with me.’ This is a quote I wrote in my notebook last week. I was/am really in a fight with myself  the past few weeks just because I feel like I don’t do enough or nothing for my religion. I feel like only praying isn’t enough. You know, we all are busy with our lives. School, friends, family it takes all too much time. But what if we die right now? What if you die right now? Would you fear it or would you feel happy cause in your eyes, you did a lot of good deeds and was far from sins. But how would we know that? How would you know that? And that’s what makes our religion so beautiful. If we knew when we reached the point that we go to Jannah, we would stop the moment we knew it. But now, just because we can’t, we always try harder our best til our death. But what if we didn’t? What if we had too much time for other things but not much for our religion, for our future? That’s when we have to open our eyes. Guys, this world is just an exam. We are here to prove that we can earn Jannah. If we spend time on our religion, we will learn our religion and then we are able to tell people about our religion. I had a really tough time and was having a hard time to spend time for my religion. But after my best friend died, I realized that death can come any moment. She was a really nice person, the best person I’ve ever met. But she didn’t really do much about her religion. That was when the fear started in me. I was really mad at myself for not spending so much time for my religion. When I was thinking back about it, I just realized that it was a waste of time. In these few years I could’ve done so many things, I could’ve learned so many things but I didn’t. I didn’t cause back then I had ‘no time’. We have to make time for this. If I knew what I know now back then, I would’ve done a lot more about my religion and was able to answer more questions of people than now. So please, think about your death. Think about the life after death. It’s all up to you. Everything is in your hands. You can do it. You can go to Jannah but also to Jahannam. Which one would you like? I think Jannah. So what are you waiting for? When you have a test in school, you have to work hard for a good note right? So why would it not be the same to go to Jannah. You can’t say: I have a good heart and I am kind to people so I will go to Jannah. No one can say that. First of all you have to pray to even have the chance to go to Jannah. Allah is first going to ask for our prayers. Its all up to us. We will never know where we are going so we have to work hard for the one we want. Wake up people, cause what if you die right now? What do you have to take with you?

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