HINDI ko na napigilang tumulo ang aking luha habang tinatanaw si Sky sa loob ng kaniyang hospital room. For the third time this week, sinugod na naman siya sa hospital. The doctor advised that Sky should stay here to monitor his heart. Gaya nga ng sabi nila noon ay hindi na maganda ang kondisyon ng puso nito.
Sky's parents still trying to seek a heart donor that compatible with their son. Matagal na silang naghahanap pero wala pa rin silang matagpuan. At wala ring kasiguraduhan kung gagaling talaga si Sky once na may heart transplant na mangyari. His body might decline the new heart.
Linakasan ko na ang loob ko na pumasok. He isn't sleeping. Pero masyado ng namumungay ang kaniyang mga mata. He hardly speaks. Nahihirapan na siya. Kaunting galaw niya lang ay sumasakit na ang dibdib niya. I sat beside his bed. I hold his hand tightly. Bahagya ko iyong pinisil-pisil para iparating sa kaniya na hinding-hindi ko siya iiwan.
He slowly lifted his one hand towards my face. Nanginginig ang kamay niya pero nagawa niya pa ring punasan ang mga luha ko. I rested my face on his hand while crying. I can't see him like this. Seeing him like this doubled the pain that I was feeling.
"I... b-broke up with Savannah." He tried to speak straight.
I shook my head for stopping him to speak. I understand, Sky. Kahit hindi ka na magpaliwanag... naiintindihan ko.
"I-I'm... s-sorry..." There's a tear that successfully dropped on his face. I never see him like this. I never see him so hopeless.
God, I can trade my happiness just give Sky another chance to live. Kahit na makahanap ulit siya ng iba ayos lang sa'kin. I won't intrude. Magiging masaya ako para sa kaniya. Mananatili akong nakamasid sa malayo. Just give him a chance to live again.
"I understand, Sky. I understand..." He wiped my tears again. Kahit na ilang beses niyang pahirin ang luha ko ay wala na yata itong balak tumigil sa pagtulo.
"I want to stare at the stars and the moon with you tonight, Luna." He really forced himself to say it clearly. Kahit na kita ko sa mukha niya ang matinding sakit.
"You need to rest. Gagawin natin iyon kapag magaling ka na." Tila nanlamig ang buo kong katawan nang makita ko ang bahagyang pag-iling at marahan niyang pagtawa. Sa inakto niyang iyon ay tila ba pinapahiwatig niya na maging siya ay suko na.
No, Sky! You need to fight this battle. I'll fight with you. I won't leave. I'll be here to help you to attain victory on this battlefield even though it's full of mess. So, don't give up, please. Your luna is just here.
"Please, Luna. I want to stare at them tonight. Just for the last time—"
"Sky! Don't say that!" Suway ko agad sa sinabi niya. I don't want to hear him saying those words. Hindi ko pa kaya. Kailanman ay hindi ko kakayanin na mawala siya sa akin.
He looked at me, begging. Wala na akong nagawa kundi sundin ang kagustuhan niya. Nagpakuha ako ng wheelchair para roon paupuin si Sky. Hindi niya na kayang maglakad. Nakaantabay lang ang parents niya pati ang parents ko ng dalhin ko si Sky sa elevator. Noong una ay nag-aalinlangan pa sila pero wala na rin silang nagawa kundi sundin ang gusto nito.
I saw how worried Bailey's eyes are. Alam kong gusto niyang sumama sa amin pero I want to be alone with Sky. Gusto ko siyang masolo, katulad noong dati.
Dinala ko siya sa roop top ng hospital. Tinulungan ko siyang makaupo sa sofa na naroon at magkatabi kaming naupo. Ilang minuto kaming tahimik habang parehong nakatingala at pinagmamasdan ang mapayapang mga tala. They are so bright tonight. Naghahatid ng kaginhawaan ang mga tala ngayong gabi.
"There's a Strawberry Full Moon tonight." Sky said while still staring at the stars. When he looked at me, his enticing smile showed that it made me caught off guard. Iyon 'yong ngiti kung bakit mas lalo akong nahulog sa kaniya.
He finds my hand and gently squeezed it. Nang mahawakan niya ito ay hindi niya na nagawang bitawan pa. Hindi ko rin naman magagawang bitawan siya... hindi ko kaya.
"I love you, Luna. I'm sorry for realizing it late." His eyes were full of emotions to the point I can't name it anymore. Puno ng saya, sakit, pait, at pighati ang mga mata niya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang nangingibabaw. "I fooled myself into liking someone else. I did my best to divert my attention to others." Marahan siyang natawa. "But every night I lay on my bed, it's still you. It's still you that can fulfill that hollow inside me."
"I'm not forbidding you to like someone else, Sky. I..." I gasped. "I love you, too. But I am not selfish to cage you with me. Even if it's hurt seeing you with Savannah, I can still be freeing you for your happiness."
"Didn't you hear me, Luna? I said I'm in love with you. This love grows deeper to the point that even if I tried harder to like someone else, I still ended up thinking of you." He gently caressed my face. Ramdam ko ang matinding kirot sa kalooban ko. I don't want this to end. "When I see you with Bailey, that's the moment I've realized that I can't afford to lose you."
"I never leave you. Even if the sky already has a sun, I'm still there, giving my best to shine." I sob. "So, please... don't leave me." I don't care if I sound so pathetic right now. What I care about is spending my time with him.
Silence ensued. We just both staring at each other until there were shooting stars. We smiled as if we understand everything even if we didn't talk.
He encircled his hand on my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. Patuloy pa rin niyang hawak ang kamay ko at ramdam ko ang panlalamig noon. My sobs filled the whole place.
"Hindi ako mawawala, Luna. You're my one and only moon that can shine on my darkest sky. I love you."
I don't think I cried this so much when Sky slowly let go of my hand. Fear mixed with pain and loneliness filled me. My heart feels like it's going to fall off of my chest. My breathing is fast and I couldn't maintain the straightness of my voice.
It took me for a while to dial his Mom's phone number. Hindi pa man nagtatagal ay sinagot niya na agad ang tawag ko.
"What is it, Luna? Do you need help there?" She's so concern.
I smiled as the tears consistently flowing. "Tita..." My voice broke.
She wasn't able to speak. Nanahimik siya na tila tanggap niya na ang sasabihin ko.
"He peacefully went to the moon."
Sky is still resting on my shoulder. His... lifeless body is resting on me.
***THE END***
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This story is based on a true story. This is about my twenty-year-old guy cousin who died on the seventh of May this year. 70% of this story is true.
Love is really powerful, right? Even if it puts us on harm, we are still willing to do it just to prove how far we love the person.
I hope you like the story. Thank you.<3
Minnie Hwang
