Hades

Chapter 42

"Are you worried about that?" I wondered, "That my wolf isn't going to over power the silver?"

"No, your outbursts were weeks apart. To work up that much anger with the time frame you have it would be months before you could over power a single dose."

I felt a little better with his statement, but continued to stare down at my hands, wanting so badly to touch him, to have him comfort me more, but afraid he would flinch away.

"I really didn't mean to hurt you," I whispered, as if apologizing for the millionth time would make it all go away.

"I know, Char," Sebastian murmured, tossing me a small smile. It wasn't the biggest smile I had seen out of him recently, but it was the most sincere. "I'm not mad at you and I don't blame you for the scratches or what happened to Ethel. I know what it's like to be out of control. God, the first time I killed someone I felt like I was dreaming. One minute I was asleep, dreaming about him torturing an omega in his pack, the next I was covered in his blood on his packlands. I thought I was deranged."

"Oh my god, that must've been awful. I'm so sorry," I murmured.

"It came together really quickly so it wasn't too bad. The first kill I thought I was going crazy. The second kill I saw the same landscape from my dream and by my fifth I actually saw my victim, the reason I was doing these things. The validation came when I needed it to."

"I just don't understand why this is happening," I groaned. "I don't think my wolf hates you. You carried me around and I did nothing. I ran away from you when I felt like you were using Caleb to hurt me."

"These things aren't always easy to unravel," he mused. One of his large hands settled on top of mine, cradling it in warmth. 

"Do you know why this happened to you?" I asked.

Sebastian shook his head the ran a hand through his dark hair. "I have theories of course, but those aren't very useful. If nothing is validated it's hard to base a lot of hope or faith into it. I could've been chosen by the moon goddess because of my personality or my position or maybe a mix of everything. I was raised to be a good and just leader from the start. I had the power and the ability to control it from being an alpha with a large pack. My half sister happens to be the queen which is also super convenient, I get extra protection and more leeway whenever I need it. To be honest, I can't think of anyone that would fit the requirements better than I do."

"Being the best option doesn't mean it's an easy burden to carry," I whispered, staring at his massive hand that surrounded mine and the red ring around his wrist. "And now you have to deal with me too."

"Charlotte, this is a blip. A really unfortunate blip that requires attention but goes away in it's own time," he reasoned. His fingers squeezed mine. "We will get through this."

His hand left mine and he used his grip to gently steer my legs towards him. There, I was forced to look at his amber eyes and the small smile that quirked up the corner of his mouth.

"This is a tiny prize to pay for the woman who has made me the happiest I have ever been," he assured, then he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.

The kiss started slow. It was patient and forgiving, typical Sebastian. But when I let out a whimper he pulled me closer to him and his lips moved more fiercely. He was trying to pour all of this adoration, faith, and wanting into a single kiss.

And I poured myself into the kiss. I hoped he could taste all of the things I couldn't say on my tongue. I hoped he could feel all of the love I had for him and just how sorry I was.

When he pulled away I excused myself with tears in my eyes and scrambled to my bedroom.

~~~Distraction Section~~~

Hello everyone! Hope you are all well and healthy. I have decided that updating once a week isn't very cash money. Is that still a meme? Either way, we will be maintaining the Tuesday updates, but I am also throwing in Friday updates. Guarding His Queen will be updated every Thursday if any of you are following that book as well. 

Question of the Day:

What is the most ridiculous thing you have ever cried over?

So, in November, I was super stressed about a thousand things. TPATA was on the brink of being published and I was riding out the publishing process for the first time, terrified everyone would hate it. I was going on my first solo trip to see someone I barely knew in a city I had never been to, flight and all, and my work life was falling apart. So I was super overloaded with stress. And my beloved boyfriend rolled into my house with this god awful handlebar mustache and I burst into angry tears. It was a mess and not a valid reason to cry, but definitely the straw that broke the camel's back.