that's life » s. hyde

[28] baby fever

Eric walked up, looking at the empty backside of the van. "Hey Jackie, what happened to the other door?"

Jackie thought for a moment. "Other door?"

"Yeah, you know, the thing that always got in the way of this giant, gaping hole."

Kelso spotted something in the back of the van and pulled it out, his eyes wide. "Jackie? What are these?"

"Um... van sticks?" She said sheepishly.

"No. No, Jackie. These are not 'van sticks.' These are drumsticks! Who's drumsticks are they?"

"Wow Jackie, what's up?" Donna asked, grinning.

"If what I think happened actually happened..." Izzy said, "Then damn I'm jealous."

"Izzy Bee!"

"What?"

"Okay, fine!" Jackie said. "I used your van to drive Chip and his band to a gig."

"Jackie?" Kelso asked. "Is Chip a girl?"

"Uh... no?"

"You had other guys in my van?"

"You're dating a band?" Fez asked.

"It wasn't a date, it was a gig!"

Kelso's eyes were wide. "Whatever it was, it was a gross misuse of van! And... and you owe me money, big time!"

"I owe you money? What about all the stuff I bought you when we were together?"

"That does not count! You gave me those things so I would love you." Jackie opened her mouth to argue, but was stopped by the bumper falling to the ground with a loud clang.

-

"Look what I've got!" Kitty mused, walking into the kitchen that evening. Red was sitting at the table with his newspaper and Laurie was leaning against the counter, seeing the baby carrier in her mother's hands.

"Ew. What's that?"

"That is Marissa." Kitty set the carrier onto the table. "Carol's baby. And you promised me last night you'd babysit her."

"Last night? But last night I was drunk! Why can't you do it?"

"Because you promised. And besides, your father and I are having fondue and parcheesi at the Pinciottis'."

"Oh?" Red asked, looking over his newspaper. "Then I'll do it."

Eric and Izzy walked into the room, hearing Kitty say, "No, Laurie can watch this baby tonight."

"Ohh!" Izzy squealed, rushing over to the baby. "She's so cute! What's her name?"

"Melissa." Laurie grumbled.

"Marissa." Kitty corrected.

"Golly Laurie, a baby." Eric said. "And just in time for your black mass."

"Hey, what did I tell you about calling your sister the devil?" Red asked, looking back down at his newspaper.

"That it's... offensive to the devil?"

Izzy looked up from playing peek-a-boo with Marissa. "Laurie, I can watch the baby for you."

Kitty shook her head. "No no, Laurie promised last night-"

"Laurie was drunk last night."

"See?!" Laurie asked.

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Kitty said. "Fine. Izzy, you're watching the baby."