Leave you wanting more

Chapter 20

"See that?" He says pointing up near a hilly cliff. "We are going to go up there."

I look at him in disbelief. "That looks like it would take like 20 minutes to climb up there."

He shrugs "25 or so if you follow the trail."

"I didn't wear appropriate clothing for a hike."

"It's barely a hike. It's not even strenuous." He defends. "Just trust me, you'll thank me later." He says with confidence.

I follow him as we begin the trek.

"When I found out Valerie was cheating on me. I confronted her about it." He says as we walk together.

"She turned it around on me saying it was my fault. She said a lot of hurtful things that I don't really feel like digging up, right now." He continues, "I am embarrassed to admit this, but I believed it. Every lie she said about me. I found myself kind of feeling how you're feeling."

"She seems like a narcissist" I say quietly.

He chuckles. "So did Logan."

"Anyway," he continues, "I knew what she was saying wasn't true, but that didn't stop my heart from believing it."

He doesn't expand on it anymore. We walk in silence, until Lucas stops.

When we got up there, I was breathless, not only from the hiking, but the beautiful scenery that welcomed me. So many trees, as green as I've ever seen them. The sun shines bright, illuminating everything. The outline of where the sky ended and the hills begin. The silence that came from it just being us and nature was pure and calming. It was just what I needed.

"Thank you." I say softly, not tearing my eyes away from the sight.

He sits down on a big rock. "I found this place after Val and I broke up. I just got in the car one day and drove. I found myself here."

I listen, but I don't respond or look at him. He doesn't get upset though, I think he understands.

"This is where I found the answers to my questions. This is where I quieted all the negative thoughts in my head and let the truth overpower my demons. This is where I found peace."

I finally peel my eyes away and look at him. He was doing the same thing as I was. Just looking out at the world and the beauty nature has to offer and just taking it in.

I join him on the rock.

"It was my fault because I was too busy going home every weekend to check on my dad." He begins and I look at him confused. "That's one of the reasons she said."

I roll my eyes, "I don't like her."

"I felt like she was right, that I should have made more time for her. If I did, she wouldn't have cheated."

"That's not..."

He cuts me off, "I said I felt that. But here, I was able to be alone with my thoughts with no distractions. Here I was able to think clearly. I used what I knew to disprove a false feeling in me."

I look at him still confused.

"I would sit here and reflect on all the negative things I felt about myself or what happened and use what I know is true.

Like, I was a bad boyfriend for blowing her off to be with my dad. Which I knew was bullshit. But I believed it and felt it because it had to be my fault. I had to do something to deserve being treated like that. Karma or something.

But I came here, almost every day, sat on the rock and let myself remember all the bad things I felt and rationalized it. Once I did that enough, my feelings finally caught up with the truth."