Getting Wilder ✔️

issue ten: sweat drops emoji

I went into the bathroom and removed my pants, discarding and soaking them in a bucket. I would have to deal with them first thing later that morning. I walked over to the sink, watching my reflection in the mirror. My skin appeared ghostly pale under the silver moonlight streaking from the small ventilation window. I turned on the tap, the sound of water deafening in the silent tread of the night. I washed my face, trying to calm my feverish skin and decided not to touch myself. I was afraid I would think about Wilder again and somehow it felt like I was violating him.

Or was I?

My mind went to the evening that day. How he had kissed me. Hungrily. How he had held me so I was straddling him. How he had pulled down me to where he needed me. How turned on he had been. The thought made my already feverish skin heat up even more.

I cursed, knowing that these thoughts would lead me nowhere and instead decided to have a cold drink of water. I dressed up quickly in fresh clothes and made my way downstairs. I stopped in my tracks when I heard a low, familiar male voice floating through the semi-darkness. I reached the kitchen and saw my dad leaning against the counter as he talked softly on his phone.

"Dad?"

His eyes flitted to me and he smiled widely. I thought I saw a twinge of worry darkening his eyes before they were back to normal, leaving sparkling azure in its wake.

"Nico!" My dad hung up the phone and walked towards me. I leaned against the counter, making sure I was hidden from view as I smiled at him. He grinned. "Can't sleep?"

"Er..." 

'I did sleep. Then had a dream that unhinged my darkest fantasies about things I couldn't say in the civilized society.'

"Yeah. Just decided to drink some water."

He nodded. I waited for him to leave but realized that he wasn't going to. Making sure nothing was sticking up, I made my way to the refrigerator and pulled the silver door open, taking out a chilled bottle of water and hoping it would calm my raging hormones. I took a quick drink, aware of my dad's eyes on me.

"I barely see you these days, Nic," he said, his voice low. My heart sunk at how sad he sounded as I placed the bottle back in the fridge and shut it. I was closer to my mom than with my dad, but somehow, much freer with him. I wasn't sure why. He sighed deeply, "Work has been...crazy."

I nodded. "Yep. I understand."

He studied me intently, tilting his head to the side and I felt suddenly conscious. I was wearing full sleeves to hide the bandage on my arm that Wilder had applied the previous day. There was no way I was going to tell him how pathetically I had blabbered in front of what was probably the entire school. Finally, he smiled. "We'll catch up soon, Nic. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I stared after him as he left the kitchen, feeling a strange anxiety in my stomach. I clenched my jaw, nervously tapping my foot as I waited for his footsteps to recede. I couldn't quite place my finger on it, but something about him seemed a little off. 

After a few minutes, I finally made my way back up to my room, wishing that when I slept, I could continue the dream and hopefully switch roles with dream Wilder.

*

"Third-wheeling? That definitely sounds relatable."

I nodded at Wilder's words, my heart aching at the thought of Cam and Ray. I sighed, raking a hand through my hair as I gazed at him. "It's not like it's their fault. I...I want them to be happy. They're my favourite people you know?"