Distant Lands

Living

"..Weren't ya' gonna sleep?" She whispers quietly. The moonlight hits her face gently, and she almost looks completely different to you now than she did on Golgotha. It does something weird to your heart, and you don't push the feelings away this time now that you recognise them. Her eyes are soft as her gaze lingers on you purposefully.

"Yeah.. about that, I changed my mind." You say, hushed, and you grab the blanket Steven placed on the couch to wrap around your shoulders. You briefly think about asking her to take a walk with you outside, but your aching muscles and cold legs scream back at you instead. You take a seat next to her.

"Why? You're clearly tired." She crosses her arms as she looks at you strangely.

"Shush, I'm fine." You reply as quiet as you can, feeling your face glare at her a little. "And uh.. I don't think I can fall asleep just yet? I kinda wanted to apologize for earlier."

"Apologize for what?" She faces you fully, confusion all over her face.

"For that shit with Steven earlier." You shrug at her, biting your lip. "I probably could have handled that a lot better.."

She stares at you silently, deadpan.

"Shut up." She whispers, when she decides to open her mouth a full five seconds later.

"What, no." You reply, leaning back on the couch. "I'm serious. I should've had a longer talk with him before approaching you, that was a disaster that could've-"

She puts a gloved finger to your lips, silencing you with a roll of her eyes.

"That's what you're apologizing for? You're utterly ridiculous." She takes the finger off your lips, and you fight down a blush that has no business making itself present on your face. You're just overanalyzing it because she touched your lips, and you're a little touch starved. "If you should apologize for anything, it's for putting yourself in harm's way and actually getting yourself killed."

"I only did it to save you, stupid." You retort, and she lowers her eyes at you, eyebrows slightly furrowed with frustration.

"That's my entire problem, Y/N. I never should have had ya' in that position in the first place."

"Listen, I'm not going to argue with you about the details about what went down. It's over now." You say, pulling the blankets further around your shoulders to block out the chill. "Just let me apologize how I want to."

"You're irritating." She sighs, quietly.

"Eh, you missed me." You deflect automatically with a small shrug, mouth working a lot faster than your brain.

Her face breaks for a second, and she looks away - off to the side, clearly avoiding your eyes entirely. Something in your chest twists painfully at that.

"..I did, yeah." The words come out of her so quietly that you almost don't catch it, at first. You feel your heart start to beat a little faster when you realize what exactly she just said.

"I.." You trail off, blinking. You don't know what to say. "Spinel.."

"I never thought I'd see you again." She looks up at you, and you can tell she's holding back tears as your heart nearly shatters into pieces. Oh..

You want to hug her.

You sit there for a second, fighting yourself. And then you figure, fuck it, who gives a shit?

"Can I have a hug?" You ask her quietly, and wait for her response. She looks at you like you're stupid, and a tear rolls down her cheek. You wish to wipe it away.