Parallel Delusions

Chapter 14

"Gerard? Is it you in there?" Mikey called from the other side of the bathroom door. My unsteady breath was hitched in my throat as I stared at my reflection in the mirror with wide eyes. "Y-Yeah, I'll be out in a minute..." I spit out with all my strength used to stop myself from sobbing in the middle of the sentence. My whole body was shaking, my fingertips numb. "Okay..." he said and went away. Staring at myself, I saw the tears. I had had a nightmare the night before, and it was all about Frank, instead of the doctor, dead. And I had done it. I had fucking done it. It was terrifying. Everything was blurry yet the truth hurt from being so god damn clear. And I couldn't handle it. I just couldn't take it I couldn't fucking take it.

My fingers went through my hair, in attempt to perhaps, do something. Anything. That maybe showed that I was alive. That my heart was still beating. But I couldn't find anything. And it petrified me because if that was so, that meant they had won. And I had lost. After all that was done. After all I had went through.

I bent forward, examining my reflection. When all of a sudden, it smiled. It fucking smiled. I jumped back, my hands instinctively in front of me in attempt to protect me. I cursed under my breath, looking at the smiling face in front of me. He, or it, straightened it's gesture and looked at me with hateful, revenge-thirsty eyes.

I looked back at the door behind me, looking for someone, anyone, anything to fucking explain that. But there was again nothing; just the white bathroom door with little stickers stuck on it. I looked back at it fearfully. It put its hands in its pockets, its smile devilish.

"What the heck are you?" I whispered.

Nothing came out of its mouth. Not one word. Not one single sound. Nothing. It was just staring through my soul, trying to take every secret I had buried within myself. An awful headache began completing its actions, making my head hurt like hell itself. I grabbed my head and squeezed, trying to shut down the pain. Tears rolled down my eyes slowly despite of my hard attempts to hold them back and when I looked at the reflection, it was holding a gun, straight at my forehead.

I went pale, my hands ice cold yet sweaty. All I could do was stare; at the pale skin, the untidy black hair, and lifeless yet thirsty eyes. If you could even call them eyes. They were so weird, yet looked like human eyes. There was just something so very wrong about them. And that wasn't helping the situation at all.

Its smirk got bigger and its mouth was opened, in attempt to speak. But there were only three, three god damn words:

"Keep your faith."

I threw myself to the ground right at the moment I thought it would shoot. But instead, I heard Mikey shouting my name from behind the door, nagging about me taking too long. I stood back up while breathing unsteadily yet deeply, looking at my reflection in the mirror. But this time it was actually my reflection. Terrified, breathless and paralyzed. Pathetic.

I wiped my tears away and two or three deep breaths before opening the door, revealing an annoyed yet to some points happy Mikey. Suddenly, the corner of his lips were pulled upwards. I stepped out, leaving enough space for him to enter the bathroom.

"Thanks..." he said as he stepped in but stopped to look at me. "You know I...I thought I'd never see you in here again. But you're here and everything's finally normal..." he mouthed, looking at the ground. "It's nice to have you around again brother." He said and smiled before closing the door. I knew I had just had an attack, but I just couldn't stop myself from smiling. Because hell, although I knew nothing was normal, I was beginning to imagine it actually was. And it brought a smile to my lips, reminding me of all the times I had had with my family.

I went to my room and changed into a pair of black jeans and a black shirt with long sleeves with the misfits' logo on it. I took a look at myself in the mirror of my room; pale, so pale it wouldn't be a surprise if I was dead. I brought my fingers towards my face, brushing them against my skin smoothly and slightly. I wanted to feel the life in me. Even if it was only once more. Only once more. I dropped my hands, sighing. Heading downstairs, I examined all the pictures we had hanged there. Our family, me and Mikey, mom and dad and their wedding. I slightly smiled at the thought of them and reached the living room, finding my mother in the kitchen again. Heading that way, I took in the smell of breakfast with pleasure, taken in mind that I hadn't eaten for a couple of days.