virago|c.g.|

xiv

Clary allowed herself to look at Glenn, seeing nothing but sincerity in his gaze. She nodded softly, feeling at peace before she turned away. "When we got up to the room, all he did was yell at me and say that Solaris had fallen because of me. That our people died because of me. That he lost everything because of me. And so he said he'd do the same to me." Glenn watched as the girl clenched her jaw, bile rising in his throat as he assumed what she'd talk about. "I tried to get out, but he— he pushed me against the wall and turned my own knife against me, using it to cut open my shirt and my jeans. I— I was exposed. Vulnerable. He kept trying to take advantage of me but I kept fighting. I was crying, pleading with him to let me go." She shook her head. "He got so angry he punched a mirror and shattered it. He was bloody, and crazed and so I thought I could get away." A humorless laugh left her throat. "But he grabbed me and threw me down onto the glass. He got on top of me and kept trying to— it was terrifying. It was like he was an animal, like he didn't care about what he was doing. He just wanted to kill me, and he almost did. He started choking the life out of me." Her hand instinctively touched the area around her throat, the ghost of his hands appearing for a fraction of a second. "I would've died if Millie hadn't pulled him off of me." She let herself feel the emotions she had been putting off for so long. She had had yet to speak out about what she had experienced with Ashton. She thought she'd never have to, or want to, but ultimately she knew that bottling up what he had done to her would be the reason she could never fully open herself up to the life she had found.

"What happened then?" Glenn asked, surprised when she shrugged nonchalantly. "He ran. Like a coward he ran out of the room and out the door. Millie found some clothes and helped me until we heard Infected getting in. I pleaded with her to just wait it out upstairs with me but she didn't. So I used whatever strength I had to follow her down." Clary could just imagine the girl, her dark hair pulled back, her pale blue eyes filled with determination. "There was about six walkers and we had taken them down until one came at me from behind. She pushed me out of the way only for it to bite her on the shoulder." The girl shook her head. "I don't know if she was in shock or fear but I remember she just looked at it. I tried to help her, make her comfortable but she was burning up within hours." Clary looked down at the bracelet on her wrist, the one belonging to her lost friend. "She kept talking about different memories of us before she ended with saying how her greatest regret would always be not fighting for me." A soft laugh made its way past her lips as she looked up to the man. "She told me she loved me, in a way that her brother never could. I had never known, and I think maybe I had loved her in that way." Glenn clenched his jaw upon seeing the emotion in the girl's face. She shook her head. "But we would never know. The last thing she did was kiss me and tell me she loved me before—" she didn't have to finished. Glenn knew.

Clary was surprised when she felt Glenn wrap an arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly. And for once she didn't even think to pull away. She didn't even get angry at herself for allowing him to console her as she realized a tear had fallen. "I'm sorry you had to lose any of them. Just from the way you talk about your sister and Millie, I can tell they meant everything to you." Clary nodded. "They did. Losing my sister I was able to focus on protecting Millie and my people, but losing my best friend just meant that I was alone." She didn't mention how she felt as if she had loss the last bit of innocence she had after Ashton almost took it from her. She didn't mention how even thinking of him brought fire onto her skin, making her want to cry out in pain as she felt the ghost of his terrible touch. She didn't mention how she had still felt so lost. As Glenn pulled away, she faced him as he brushed back the hair from her face. "I know you don't want to give in to the life here, but I hope you can trust me enough to know that I will do everything to make a home for you here. That Maggie will join in that dream I have. I hope you will too." Clary said nothing as he let his hand comfortingly squeeze her shoulder before falling. "It's late, you should get some rest." Looking back to the lawns coated in moonlight, Clary nodded. "I'll go in soon, I just— I just need some time to think." Looking back to Glenn, he nodded, grabbing the mug from her hand to take it inside. "Okay. Goodnight, Clary." Clary sent him a small smile. "Goodnight, Glenn." And with their soft smiles, Glenn headed towards the door before entering the home. Clary rested her hands on the railing of the porch, looking past the road towards the trees that stood.

However, looking to the pond, she was surprised to see a figure with a certain sheriff hat standing at the waters edge. She didn't know what it was that told her to go towards the boy, maybe it was her epiphany that perhaps the group Glenn was a part of was one she could trust, or maybe it was her revealing her past. Either way, she left all doubts behind and walked towards the figure. As a chill breeze blew, she tugged the jacket she wore a bit tighter on her smaller frame. "A little late to be out, don't you think?" Carl was quick to look up to the voice, surprised to see Clary standing there. He was surprised at the fact that she was even speaking to him considering he was lucky if he even caught a glare from her. To answer, he only shrugged before throwing a pebble he had in hand into the water, causing the image of the moon to be disrupted by ripples. "Could say the same thing to you." Clary only stayed silent as Carl looked at her cautiously, wondering how much she would actually talk to him. But when he saw her rigid stance, he softened his gaze, which only grew kinder as her voice filled the silence. "Were you close to him? Noah, I mean." Carl only shrugged. "Kind of. We traveled together, and we were the closest in age, but other than that not really." He let out a puff of air. "I know you didn't even know him but— you saw him die. In a way like that? I can't imagine that it was easy." Clary shook her head, looking out the water. "It never is, but he seemed like a nice guy. I wish I could have known him a little better." Carl nodded softly, looking at the water before letting out a deep sigh.

Carl was surprised as he heard her footsteps grow closer, seeing her grab a pebble by the waters edge and flicking it out of her hand, causing it to skip. Carl was surprised when he found his voice again. "I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but this place can be home. I didn't think it could be for me, not after everything I saw out there, but now I almost feel like I am home." As he turned to face her, he was surprised to see her dark eyes already on him. "And Glenn's trying, and so is Maggie, Daryl— even my dad. You— you know you have a place with us right?" Clary nodded her head, knowing full well because that was all Glenn seemed to say to her. But her doubt soon surfaced. "Yeah, I know. I just can't figure out why. Why take care of me when you don't even know me?" She turned away from the boy. "Why bleed for me?" Carl bit his lip in thought, knowing full well he had no idea what pushed him to help her. He only shrugged. "It was the right thing to do," was the only answer he could come up with. As if seeing through his bullshit, Clary shook her head. "In this world, that's not enough. You live by that? You die. So what was it really?" Carl thought for a moment, the two in comfortable silence until he shrugged. "I guess I don't know either." As Carl looked to the girl, she shook her head in thought and confusion. She took a step away, placing her hands in the pockets of the hoodie. "You should get some sleep, it's too late to be out." Carl let out a soft laugh, humored by her concern. "You should, too, Clary." With a clench of her jaw, she took a step away before turning on her heel and heading towards her home. Carl watched her go, wondering when she'd give him just the slightest chance of knowing her past the tough exterior she feels she has to uphold. With a shake of his head, he headed home with the thought of how to earn her trust.