virago|c.g.|

xiii

Are you ok?

Clary, surprised at the worry yet disheartened at the prospect of ever growing close to a boy as she had before, gave him an answer by shaking her head. As he let the journal fall, she shut the curtains, not wanting to entertain his idea of becoming friends any more.

After a short digress and a quick shower, Clary got changed into fresh clothes before opening the curtains to see the sun had already began to set. Throwing on a large hoodie she had found,  she made her way out the door. She passed by Glenn's room, looking through the cracked open door to see he was no longer there. She didn't know where he was until she went downstairs, the front door opening to reveal him and Rick. Seeing the girl, the man nodded in greeting. "Clary, I just got done speaking with Glenn about what happened on the run. I need you to tell me what happened on your side." Clary nodded, passing by Glenn who gave her an assuring nod, before she followed Rick to the porch.

As the door shut behind them, he motioned towards the porch steps to where she sat, him following suite. It was silent for a few moments before he began, yet not in the way she expected. "You okay?" As Clary met Rick's eyes, she nodded softly. "I hardly knew him. But I know how hard it is for all of you, and I'm sorry. I wish there had been more time for me to have gotten to know him, he seemed like a good kid." Rick nodded in agreement, clenching his jaw to prevent his own mourning from shining through. "He was. He had taken care of one of our own when she was taken by another group. When she died, we knew she would want him to be with us so we took him. We tried taking him back to his family but there wasn't anyone to go back to." Clary looked out towards the dark night that had quickly fallen. Some house lights were on, but none too bright that they took away from the stars that had blanketed the sky.

Clary looked away when she heard Rick's voice once more. "You weren't there with Glenn to get Aiden right?" Clary shook her head. "No, I had stayed with Eugene to protect Tara. I wasn't sure if he could do it himself or I would've helped Glenn." Clary began to mess with her hand, her fingers grazing her exposed wrist. "Eugene and I saw an opening and we took it. We needed to get Tara somewhere safe and get her patched up. When we got that down, we drove around to try and draw the Infected away." Rick nodded in thought. "Glenn said you did that at the front, too." Clary nodded, Rick noticing she bit the inside of her lip as she thought. She let out a small breath before speaking once again. "I had Eugene drive and blast the music to draw the Infected away so Glenn, Noah and Nicholas could get out from the revolving doors. I got out of the van to do some more clearing by hand, but when I was talking to Glenn, a walker came at me from behind. When I put it down, Nicholas used me being distracted to slip through the door and push a walker on me to stop me." Clenching her jaw, Clary felt anger rising within her again. "I killed it, and I was ready to hunt down Nicholas—" Clary stopped herself, reliving the sounds of Noah's cries of pain as he was ripped apart and Glenn gasps of shock and grief. "—until I heard the screams. When I looked back it was just Glenn that was safe and Noah was being torn apart."

As she went silent, Rick's eyes softened. He knew that the girl was strong, that much was evident from her willingness to fight while injured and from the scars etched on her skin. But even then, he saw that she was still young and hurt by the world she was in. He only nodded in understanding. "Glenn told me how you were able to bring him back. He would've stayed there for a long time had you not helped him." Clary was surprised as she heard him sigh softly. "And I know you don't trust me as much as you trust him or Maggie, but just know I'm grateful for what you did." Clary looked towards Rick, a small smile on her face before she nodded her head softly. "He's the reason I'm alive. He brought me in even when you didn't want him to, and with good reason. I owe him that much, and the only way I can ever repay that is by protecting him and his family, and that includes all of you." Rick nodded, noting that the girl had a certain respect that many his age hadn't even had. "Well, if you ever find us worthy enough, we could be your family too. Goodnight, Clary." Clary smiled at his comfort with the girl of him using a nickname for her, knowing she would have to trust him too. She saw that he was a leader, doing whatever it took to protect his people, and she wondered how lucky she would be to be part of that.

But she also knew that to open her heart to more people would simply be her end, just as it was for Solaris.

He moved away for her, walking down the road before she went back inside. She was surprised to see Maggie downstairs, Clary's attention moving away as Glenn walked out of the front door. Clary looked questioning it to the woman who only looked solemnly at the door. As Clary came closer, she noticed Maggie heating up a pot of water. The woman looked towards the girl before letting out a soft sigh. "He's still grieving. If I had to see what he had to I— I don't know what I would've done. And now I can't even imagine how to help him." Clary nodded, knowing Maggie just wanted to comfort her husband. "It's a hard thing, seeing someone you care about die in front of you, especially in such a gruesome way." Clary saw Maggie's face change, a change that detailed that perhaps the woman knew more than she let on. Clary's eyebrows furrowed as Maggie eyes out a soft sigh. "I— I know I shouldn't have gone through your things but—" Clary only shrugged, knowing that the journal was an obvious gateway into who she was and anyone curious enough would have looked through it. "It's okay, but now you know. Did you tell Glenn or anyone else about it?" The woman shook her head, grabbing small bags of tea before placing them in mugs and pouring water into them. "No, I— didn't want to tell anyone what you didn't want to. I just wanted to know to be sure my family was protected, and they are." Maggie paused for a moment, looking unsurely at the girl. "But Glenn did tell me about who you were before—"

Clary's eyes widened as she took a step away, surprised to see Maggie still holding a kind face. "I'm not afraid, Clary, I— I respect you. You did a very hard job and had to do terrible things, but I'm able to see why because of the past you've had." She let out a soft laugh. "But Glenn he— he blindly cares about you, and I wouldn't condone it if I felt we were at risk with you, but I know we're not. I know you don't want to, but you care a little about him at least, and that comforts me." Maggie pushed two of the three mugs towards Clary, smiling softly as she held the last cup in her own hands. "And you also saw what he did. I can't comfort him the way you can." With one last look, Maggie nodded before moving around the counter and placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. "I'm going to go to bed, don't stay up to late okay?" Clary nodded, smiling softly as Maggie stepped away and headed upstairs. Reaching for the mugs, Clary gripped them tightly with no care to the heat against her skin, her eyes resting on the door that Glenn stood in the other side of. With one last deep breath, she picked up the mugs and made her way out.