Sincerely, Brookie.

Lovely

Dear Her,

My brain is exploding with knowledge and memories. My brain contains things that I don't even remember. Words. Songs. Lyrics. Chords. Facts. Memories. All of these magical things stuck inside of my brain forever. Even the bad things that I so badly wish I could erase.

Memories are sometimes wonderful things. Sometimes they are dark and evil things that haunt you for your entire life. I hate them. I love them. I can't wait until every single corner of my brain is filled with you, your body, your face, you. There is a tiny corner in my brain that is filled with only you; a special place for you. Its slowly growing and infecting the rest of my thoughts with only thoughts of you. Your smile is scorched onto the inside of my eyelids. Your voice is stuck inside my head.

I wish I could wipe my brain clean of all of the dirty, all of the mean, all of the lying, all of the trauma. I wish my brain were only filled with good times, smiles, laughs, you. But we don't always get what we want, do we now? If we did, I would be with you right now. I would always be with you. No matter what.

I cannot wait until I can share every single moment of every single day with you. My entire body aches daydreaming about laying under the warm summer sun, getting tan and sweating our asses off. When I close my eyes, I can see you in clear blue water, your body drenched and your eyes shining so bright. I imagine kissing you underneath the water, brushing your hair out of your face and wrapping my arms around you so tight that I might accidentally suffocate you. I never EVER want to let you go.

I want all of the horrible memories that infect my brain to be replaced with your beautiful smile and eyes and your adorably cute nose. I would love to stare at you all day. I don't need to see anything, anyone, but you. I cannot stop thinking about kissing you.

I lay here, constantly thinking about how you taste and how you smell. I want to trace my fingers down your spine. I want to memorise every inch of your body: arms, legs, face, hair, every inch.

I want my entire brain to be filled with images of you. Your eyes are the window to your soul, and I could spend an eternity staring into your eyes.

I could write about you all day. All night. As I stare into your eyes I could write a million words to describe just how I feel about you. I could write a million words about your mesmerising eyes and your hypnotising body. I don't think I could ever run out of words about you.

If all of my memories were of you, I would be able to die a happy girl. I need all of my memories to be of you. I need you.

When my intrusive thoughts begin to take over my brain, you are the thing that brings me back. You are the thing that keeps me floating above the water. You are the thing that keeps me Awake. You are what makes me remember that I am alive, and my heart is beating. Beating only for you.

You are so lovely.

You are my sun.

Food for thought: Take my hand, darling. Or slip away into the great unknown that we call the ocean (mother nature's greatest weapon).

I always knew I was destined to fall so hard for one person that it would almost kill me.

You are that person.

Please never stop smiling, my shiny little rainbow.

Sincerely, Brookie.