Shackles on the heart (Book #1)

42. Melancholy

(RaeAnna's POV)

The thoughts and the memories were burning me from the inside out, dissolving my self-reserve, belittling me with every breath I took. The recollection of my trauma taunting me, scarring my conscience, my insecurities laughing at me.

You deserved it

You're weak

You're pathetic

You. Are. Nothing.

The sad thing about it was I was starting to believe it. I am in a funk that I don't think I can dig myself out of any time soon, this hole is too deep, much too dark. The only thing that brought any spark of light into my life was Lincoln, he knew my story, the dark parts of it, the shattering heartbreak, the loss of my long-gone innocence.

He kept his word. Him and the guys all had their class schedules changed so one of them was in the same room with me at all times, they made sure to sit right next to me in every class. Anytime anybody even looked at me wrong they set them straight. Although my trust is splintered, I do appreciate that they care enough about me to look out for me.

Zain has steered clear of me after Lincoln taught him a lesson. I feel like I was going to explode into one thousand unrecognizable pieces at any minute, That's how little control I had left. The rumors of me were still going around.

The guys want to find the source of the rumor, the person who started it. I don't blame them for wanting to know, I would also like to know who started it, but once I knew they would probably be at the brunt of my anger. I was slowly crumbling. It seems like there was a new rumor every day. I tried my best to ignore it and the guys tried their best to distract me from it.

I was currently in gym class which combined the boys and the girls together. Layne and Rylee were in here with me, keeping both of their eyes on me. I heard a group of girls talking loudly about 10 feet away from me acting like I couldn't hear them. "She is literally always with those guys. They treat her like she is the best thing ever. All 5 of them. I can't stand it." One girl said. I was trying to hold my anger inside, I didn't want to snap. Rylee came to stand beside me. "Don't let those stupid girls bother you. They are just jealous." He whispers in my ear, noticing how annoyed I was getting.

"I bet she keeps them all around by giving them sexual favors." All of the girls snicker. Layne comes up right at that moment. "Hey! Stop talking about other people like you're all so perfect. It isn't nice. It's childish. All of you are obnoxious. And Stacey, I wouldn't be talking about anyone if I were you. All of that clumped up makeup on your face makes you look like an orange. Do you really think that looks attractive? Your face is literally 10 shades darker than the rest of your body. Go join a freak show or something! What would you call yourself? Lady orange peel? Queen of Doritos? Madam of 10 shades? RaeAnna is and will always be better than you. Don't be mad because she is much more prettier than you Miss orange face." Layne scolds her loudly. This had everybody laughing, even the other girls she was with. Stacey looked mortified. "At least I'm not some scarred up slut who cries rape. You all treat her like shes some kind of princess." She rolls her eyes, unnaturally. Layne and Rylee's faces were turning red from anger.