Shackles on the heart (Book #1)

27. Strained reality

(RaeAnna's POV)

Last night in my dreams I kept having traumatic visions of what could have happened to my mom. In my nightmares I was sobbing uncontrollably, while looking down at my dead mother, no life inside of her eyes, laying in a pool of her own blood. Every time I woke up Gunnar would be right there by my side, he knows how to calm me down, laying his head onto my chest, I pet his head affectionately until my racing heart would begin to slow. My sleeping schedule has been messed up for weeks, the lack of sleep really taking a toll on my waking life. In turn of these disastrous events I've been going through, it has damaged and distorted my sense of reality. I hope I can come back from this more vigorous than I have ever hoped to be.

In the morning I take Gunnar outside to use the bathroom before I need to go to school, as I'm letting him take care of business I begin to hear heavy footsteps coming toward me, I freeze. Who could that be? It's still a bit dark out, but the sunrise coming up allows me to make out a silhouette, it appears to be a man at least six feet tall, wearing all black from what I can see."Excuse me young lady?" I get into a protective stance, he puts his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm not here to hurt you, I can't say others would do the same. I'm here to deliver a message." I grab Gunnar about to sprint away. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, you're going to want to hear this." He says in his gruff voice. "Hear me out." I am very skeptical of this man. Who is he? What does he want? The hairs on the back of my neck begin to rise up. This guy is bad news, I can feel it. "I know that William is your father." He states matter-of-factly.

I cross my arms over my chest. "He is NOT my dad. I have no father." He chortles gleefully. "Now now no need to get defensive. I have known William for a good 30 years. Do you know what kind of stuff he is into?" I stare at him blankly, waiting for him to continue. "He is involved with some very shady people. He said he has no kids but some folks have grown very suspicious of his fascination for you." I scoff. "Fascination? More like a sick obsession, hatred and pure disgust."

"You have his attitude." I begin to grow increasingly more angry by the second. "Don't you ever compare me to that despicable individual. He's a coward who picks on the weak and the vulnerable to fill that dark void in his pathetic excuse for a life. I am nothing like him!" I spat, getting annoyed. He just smirks at me. Really? He finds this amusing? "Get to the point or I'm leaving!"

"Okay okay some very dangerous people know about you, you need to be careful." I laugh like an insane person who just lost the last bit of their sanity. "Tell me something I don't know."

"You don't understand, listen to m-" his words are cut off by my Gramma yelling from the house. "RaeAnna it's almost time to go. Get ready!" I turn towards the sound of her voice, when I go to turn back to the man I find that he has disappeared. Where did he go? I can't help but to feel a bit curious about what he was going to say. What the heck was that all about? I focus back onto responding to my grandma. "Coming Gramma." I hold onto Gunnar taking him back into the house to start getting ready for the day.

I make it to school with Dakota, he whines."I don't want to go to school! I'm ready for spring break!" I chuckle a bit at his attitude because that's how I'm feeling towards life. "You and me both buddy. Let's just focus on today and get it over with shall we?" He sighs loudly. "I guess." I should be encouraging him to want to be at school, to want to learn, but I really just don't have the energy for that right now. I go inside to go to my first class. Can science be any more boring? I don't have interest in this anymore, like I used to. I have more important things to worry about, school is not one of them. I should be practicing shooting right now, I sigh. Why is this my life? Can't I just have a normal childhood? I begin to wonder how many people in the world are going through the type of stuff that I am going through right now. I can't be the only one right? Yeah, tons of 12 year olds have a psycho sadistic freak for a dad, ones that hire people to threaten them, saying if they don't do what they ask their loved ones will die a horrible death, gets them to kill people for their own sick amusement, sends them on dangerous missions risking their life, almost kills them, puts them into the hospital for weeks, shoots at their brother, and tortures their mom for fun. I roll my eyes inwardly as well as on the outside, my life is a complete mess. I don't even know if I have a mom who is alive anymore, I haven't had a chance to process it. I have hope she is alive, but the other part of me knows she isn't, when I know for sure I'm sure the grief will eat me alive. I haven't had a chance to feel that yet, I don't think I want to, to be honest I don't know if I will be able to.

Lunch time rolls around, I eat half of a leftover pizza and drink some water. I have to eat, even if I don't want to, to keep my strength up as much as I can so I can defend myself if I need to. "Hey princess." Lincoln says. I tense, they call me princess. "Please link. Don't call me that." He looks hurt for just a moment but brushes it away quickly. "I'm sorry Ann. So..um are you ready to go to the range after school?" I perk up a little at this. Why does the idea of learning how to shoot excite me? "Yes. I am more than ready." Ready to shoot anyone that decides they want to hurt my family, I think to myself. I need to see if I can get that gun earlier, but I am going to need to give it my all and practice with all of my might if I want to convince Lincoln, I'm sure he will understand, actually he is the only one who truly understands and knows my situation. What would I do without him?