violence laced with lavender | yoonmin

so thats his name.

[chapter - 003]

dear diary. [entry - 03]
27/05.

i have never been so mortified. :/
its as if the gods are purposely fucking me over.
not only was i subjected to a meal OUT with lilith but when i'm already kicked on the ground, it rains. porcelain kitty walked in, how lovely. he is lovely.
bUt me, needing any excuse to leave the restaurant, followed him???
i have no idea what possessed me, how could i think that was a good idea?
i was caught in the most awkward way.

"caught you,"

those words were bold.
and not just in jimins ears. there was power behind them, having the knowledge that someone is following you gives you the power. for him to confront jimin in his tracks is brave, you have to be real brave and very sure who the stalker is.
he was sure.

jimin stood frozen. running looks guilty and lying looks childish. being a statute in a building he's never been in before is a pinch of both and a bucket of humiliation.

the once brave kitty stood inwards on himself, he too looked awkward in this situation. realistically, jimin could've just left and the boy before him would've done nothing.

so, he left.

"best be off," jimin said awkwardly, adding the the extra awkward layer, finger guns. he slowly backed away from kitty and shoved the door open with his back, eye contact unbreakable.

"y-yup..." the other replied. he raised a hand to wave, lowered it and then shoved the hand behind his neck.

mortified.

it all took place like 2 hours ago!!
i can't even look in the mirror with out cringing.
finger guns??? reallY?!
i'm squirming with discomfort as i write.
if the earth were to decide to implode this very second i would not be mad.

he didn't even come after me! he just, agreed ?
his confidence died down quickly, kinda anticlimactic. will not lie, i hoped something could of happened.
i don't know what though, what i wanted. i don't know. but i felt disappointed? maybe because i left or maybe because he didn't fight but, i feel dull...

i have to face him tomorrow, perhaps.
he might be a no show again. i don't know what i want. do i want him to be there? god... i'm not making any sense.

i'm clocking out for the night, bye bye.

- mini x

he was conflicted, genuinely.
there was this part of him that wants porcelain kitty to show, maybe even talk to him but on the other hand... he dreaded that. the thought of that happening.

he threw his diary in the bedside table drawer, shutting it with his fingers seconds away from being bruised.

he can't stop thinking, only about one person. he's never done this before. never had such a fixation on one person. someone he's never had a full conversation with.

jimin brushes his teeth slowly, hand loose as he moves his fingers carelessly.

the most he's heard out of him was two words with such boldness, such courage. but then such a small reaction, no fight, no growl. a delicate 'yup'.