Starborne

Chapter 4

Akara was kind, with a smile that made me feel welcome and at home on Cynabar. She left me shortly after I arrived back at my tent, allowing me to get changed and eat my food in peace. I was aware, sliding back into my pilot suit, that the Cynabarrian women dressed in much looser clothing. This was all I had, however, and I wasn’t sure that the Amazonian women I had seen thus far would be able to loan me any outfits. The sandals given to me by the woman in the hut were easily four of five sizes too big. 

Sticking out like a human sore thumb was the least of my worries. My body protested at the knowledge that I would be making the walk back to my ship in a few hours, but something told me that the language transfer was important.

I laughed dryly, calling myself out. "More like time away from Stefin is important."

I hadn’t forgiven my traitorous heart for its reaction to his brief smile, and I didn’t know how I felt going with him to the Capital. Maybe ALYX and I would make some progress on the ship, and I could fly there instead. It was blind hope, but I at least relished the day it would take to accomplish what was needed on the ship. 

Something about Stefin annoyed me, possibly because of just how not annoying I truly found him. It was unlike me to react this way to any man, especially a Cynabarrian. I enjoyed my life, being by myself, even the times it grew lonely. I was a good Pilot, that was all I knew, and I relished the respect I had earned during my career.

It wasn’t that I was stranger to men or attraction. Dwelling on my romantic past brought up pain that I preferred to keep buried, but love was not quite a foreign concept. However, temporary was easier, and I chose to get my companionship from other Pilots at pit stops and Terran bases. There were plenty of lonely men seeking comfort, and I didn’t consider myself any different.

Terran pilots begin their training at age 14. I heard that Earth recruits were once permitted to attend university before their conscription, but my status as a colony-born human meant that I was thrust into the life at a very young age. We stayed in school during our training, but I was singularly obsessed with the cockpit of a cruiser for as long as I could remember. Nothing could get me to give up the feeling of competency and power I felt in the pilot’s seat. Not a job, not a payout, and most certainly not a man. 

Thinking back to the way that Stefin had sneered at my nightshirt and haggard look, I cringed with the notice that he certainly was not signing up to be my latest conquest. His judgement wasn’t completely fair, I was usually put together and didn't present myself as if I had been left in an alien trap for hours on end. My long, wavy light brown hair was shiny and flowed down my back. I had dark blue eyes that were rare for a colony human, and fair skin that had unfortunately turned bright pink in the heat. I was fit, but my suit did not hide the soft curves of my human body. With the right preparation and rest, I could be attractive. 

“You mean you could be attractive for Stefin.” I mocked myself humorlessly. 

What was it about him that made me want to keep seeking him out? The other Cynabarrian men I had seen didn’t make me feel this way. They shared his tall, muscular stature and tanned skin, but his hair was lighter than most. It framed a hard jaw and classically handsome features, with a straight nose and full lips. His hair though, it was shiny and just long enough for me to run my fingers through - 

That was not what I needed to be focusing on. Bad, bad Holly. It seemed to me that the traumatic nature of the last few days had forced me to form some sort of stress-bond with the first person saw. Stefin was the only real person I'd talked to in several weeks, discounting ALYX, and I was clearly delusional enough to be seeking comfort from that small amount of familiarity.