Starborne

Chapter 23

Important moments in my life, up until the crash, always felt like a progression. It was simply chronological, building to peaks and lows without any opportunity for rest. My childhood was a flat, unending cycle of disappointment. Specific events stick out as trauma: my sister died, so I joined the Terran forces. I worked my way up, suffered heartbreak along the way, but eventually ended in a place that was better than where I began. I thought that’s what my life would always be, a climb with momentary setbacks, but something I could track as a steady increase in happiness and success. 

Ever since I landed on Cynabar, that process felt interrupted. The defining moments were intercut with blackness; I was in a haze between hyper aware and passed out cold. If I was a less proud person, I may have considered that my body couldn’t handle the stress of what was happening to me. If I was a less cynical person, I may have thought of my weary physical state as a sign, a warning to slow down. 

However, since I was both prideful and a raging cynic, I came out of my latest drug induced blackout with no higher calling, or interest in slowing down. 

I snapped into consciousness with an unbecoming grasp, my body rigid and remembering the flight mode it had entered during my last waking minutes. There was something heavy on my chest, so I tried to lash out with my arms. The movement was sharply interrupted by fabric restraints around my wrists, tying me to what I otherwise recognized as my normal bed in the palace. 

My gaze flitted back and forth, panicked, trying to take in everything around me and determine why I was imprisoned. Slowly, the events of the night before came back to me, and the panic turned into abject terror. 

“No, no, NO,” I shouted out, putting all my recovering strength behind trying to free my hands. “Let me out, not like this, not like this…”

My cries descended into frustrated tears as I realized the futility of my struggle. I was still woozy and tired despite my blacked out rest; my head felt full of cotton and bees. 

All of a sudden the door opened, and the shock of a friendly face stunned me into silence. 

“Holly, oh thank the Goddess, you’re awake!” Akara ran to my side and leaned down next to me. “Can you hear me, are you alright?”

I looked at my friend with veiled suspicion, still cognizant of the sticky tears drying on my cheeks that I was unable to wipe away. 

“Akara,” I questioned carefully, “why am I tied up?”

“Oh, right.” Akara looked down with uncertainty. “That wasn’t - I was against that.”

The name she didn’t speak was quite clear to me. 

“And why did Ste- His Royal Highness deem it necessary to restrain me, yet again?” His name was too painful, as was the image of him, but I ground out my question with barely constrained anger. 

Before she could answer, another figure joined her at the edge of the bed. 

“Holly, we were so worried!” 

Groff looked at me with genuine concern, and I flashed back to my barely conscious memory of him carrying me to safety. For some reason, the knowledge of being in his arms made me blush, and I averted my gaze from his. 

Ignoring my response to Groff, or perhaps not picking up on it at all, Akara continued. 

“You’ve been out for a long time, and it wasn’t peaceful. Once we got you here, in the bed, you lashed out at the healers and attendants. Groff got a powerful kick in the stomach, himself.” 

I looked sheepishly over at the man to my left, but he winked good naturedly while dramatically rubbing the area in question. 

“Don’t worry, I respect a good roundhouse. No bad feelings here.” 

Talking to people who genuinely cared about me had calmed my nerves, but I was still hyper aware of the fabric keeping me pinned to the mattress. 

“Now that we’ve established the logic, will you untie me? I promise not to attack either of you.” 

Groff and Akara shared a look, one that I really did not appreciate. 

“If any combination of the words ‘ask’ or ‘permission’ come out of your mouths, I retract my previous statement.”

Groff sighed apologetically. “I’d do it, but I’m already worried he’s going to kick me out of the palace.” After catching my quizzical stare, he clarified. “Stefin wasn’t too pleased to see my hands on you, even in an emergency situation.”

I rolled my eyes, it seemed that Stefin could screw whoever he wanted, and I was unable to even be carried platonically like a sack of potatoes. 

“Yeah, I bet he would rather you left me to my abductor.” A thought suddenly came to me, and I chided myself for being so slow to ask. “Wait what happened with them? Did you catch him? Who drugged me - and why - and with what?”

Akara ignored my questions and huffed, “Eh, I’m not scared of Stefin. Groff, turn around so you have deniability.”

Groff smiled and complied, while Akara set to untying me from the bed. 

“Here’s the thing Holly, we… don’t know. The Terrans forbid us from doing anything more than a cursory investigation, but nobody around saw anything other than you running haphazardly and yelling. The official understanding is that you got drunk and passed out. We know it’s more than that, but there is no way of finding anything out.”

This was frustrating to hear, but I somewhat expected it. As soon as I left the palace, I would go to the Terrans and find out more about their investigation. It was understandable they wanted to handle our affairs themselves. 

“Alright.Thank you.” Now fully freed, I rubbed my sore wrists and started to get out of the bed. 

“Wait, you can’t go.” Groff moved to stop me, and I shot him a withering glare. 

“Yes, I can.”

“I untied you without permission, but you can’t leave until Stephen comes back,” Akara pleaded. I wanted to listen, but there were important things to do. 

“I’m not waiting around for Mr. Important Prince to take a second out of his day to check on the pathetic sick human. He’s not here now, he won’t be soon, and I doubt he cares anyway.” I crossed my arms moodily, feeling like a petulant child but unable to disguise my hurt. 

Why wasn’t Stefin here? I’d been awake for at least five minutes, and I knew he’d been notified. Angry with him or not, I was positive that Stefin had felt my pain and fear. He was certainly stronger than I was if the bond allowed him to be so callous. 

“Holly, he was here.” Akara smiled lightly. “They had to kick him out to get some rest, he didn’t leave your side for almost ten straight hours.” 

My weak heart panged at her words, but I shut it down quickly. 

“Good wardens don’t let their prisoners out of their sight.” 

Akara threw up her hands, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, okay, sure. Stupid as you sound, I’ll appeal again. Holly, please don’t leave until he comes back because I will be -”

“Dealt with at another time.”