Starborne

Chapter 24

Stefin stood at the door. Just, there, all of a sudden. 

It was a shock to see him. The entrance was dramatic, sure, but overall anticlimactic. I hadn’t given myself time to decide how to confront him; instead, I’d chosen avoidance. But there he was, in all his annoying glory, standing by my door and pinning my friends with a look of pure malice. 

I made the first move, finally sitting up and swinging my legs to the edge of the bed. It was a relief to see that I remained in my Pilot’s uniform, the black fabric was more bolstering than their stupid white Cynabarrian robes. 

“Well, that’s my cue.” I stood up on shaky legs, instantly cursing the decision as my unused knees buckled under me. 

I reached for the wall but Groff was quicker, grabbing my arm and pulling me up. 

“Phew, thanks. That was a close one,” I smiled sheepishly at my pathetic show of agency, holding onto his offered arm as I felt the strength return to my legs. From the feel of it, I hadn’t been out for more than 12 hours, and my muscles would be back to full use after a good stretch. 

Suddenly, Groff pulled his arm away, and cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“So, I’ll be going then. Akara?”

“Sure. You’re okay, Holly? See you later!” Akara at least had the decency to look guilty as they snuck past Stefin and out the door, while Groff acted like he’d just discovered I was sick with the plague. I studiously ignored Stefin’s glare, no doubt brought about by his feelings of inadequacy surrounding someone who actually treated me nicely, and set about gathering my things. 

“Why do you let him touch you like that? You know he wants more.” Well, there it was. Stefin seemed ruffled, as if he hadn’t wanted to reveal his annoyance. Either way, it just irritated me. Hypocrisy was never flattering. 

I continued folding and organizing my belongings, not dignifying his immaturity with a response. 

“Do you want to fuck him?” I paused, momentarily shocked by Stefin’s brazen question. My anger took the wheel, however, and I answered quickly but unconvincingly. 

“Yes.” I dared a darting glance in his direction, and regretted my response immediately. Groff didn’t deserve Stefin’s anger, I was petty to use his friendship as a pawn in our messed up game. 

“No, I don’t. It’s not an option, anyway, Groff is a good friend, to you and me.” I fumbled around looking for my blaster, before finally finding it secured in a dresser drawer. 

“Not that good a friend,” Stefin muttered under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. 

This was ridiculous. I zipped up my bag, content with the collection of everything important, and finally turned to face Stefin. 

“Is this how you want this conversation to go? Wasting time on petty jealousy that you have absolutely no right to express?” I stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door on the massive Cynabarrian and giving him time to think about what he wanted to say next. 

My hair was a mess, but that was a given based on the circumstances. I struggled to conform the waves into a somewhat respectable ponytail, before splashing my reddened complexion with some cool water. There were things I wanted to ask Stefin, questions that I absolutely required the answer to. Although it would be hard, I would tell him how I felt. In order to do so, I needed to stay composed. 

After staring into the mirror for a few more minutes, both to school my expressions and give Stefin some time to stew, I finally left the bathroom. 

Stefin was sitting at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, but he looked up sharply at the sound of the door. I was a bit surprised at the vulnerability in his physical stance, but refused to let it sway me at all. 

“Okay, tell me what you want.” 

I put my left hand on my hips, and gestured with my right for him to speak. 

“I want -” the question seemed to surprise him. “I want to make sure that you’re okay.” 

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. It sounded forced to my ears, halfway between a gasp and a chuckle. Either way, his answer was hysterical. 

“What does okay even mean, Stefin? I was drugged, attacked, and almost abducted. You had me tied to a bed while I recuperated, and are being a jerk to the only people who show me kindness. I feel betrayed for a lot of reasons, and you owe me quite a few answers. Not the least of which, what gives you the right to sit there and act concerned for my well being?” 

So much for composure. My tirade over, I suddenly felt tired and spent. Everything was too much, after all of it, I still wasn’t strong enough. 

“Holly, I’m sorry.”

“For what? Take your pick.”

“Well, first, for whatever I did to make you think that I don’t care about you.” 

“Too long of a list.”

Stefin stood up and took a step towards me. I quickly shuffled backwards, and my wounded response made him pause. 

“I want to explain myself, Holly, but I don’t know where to start.” He sounded dejected, and despite everything I had to restrain myself from comforting him.

 “Feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to win any points from me. Say what you came here to tell me, and leave.”

“What do you want from me that will make this better?”

“The truth.” It wasn’t exactly what I wanted the most, nor did I think it would repair anything between us, but it was what I needed to hear.

“About anything, ask me.”

There was only one thing. 

“Why did you sleep with Melora?”