BTS stepbrothers - mafia

18. Panicing

"I- I need to go." I said half panicing while trying to get my arm out of Jungkooks grip. I can't stay in the presence of Jimin for any longer. I started to see flashes of what happened to me that night when I saw Jimin's face in the corner of my eye.

"Please let me go." I whined, when Jungkook still had my arm in his hand. "please Jungkook-ah I- I need to go". I said panicing.

"Stop fake panicing Y/n." Jungkook scoffed. "Your not getting away so easily this time". He told me.

"No, Jungkook you don't get it. I need to go. Please let me go." I said almost in tears when the event from that night started flashing in front of my eyes. I felt the pain I had from that night going trough my body. "I need to get away here." I said trying to jerk my arm out off his grip.

It didn't help because he was too strong for me. This made me panic even more, the thought of me being trapped and that I can't escape. My sight began to become blurry and I started to take deep breaths.

The memories of me getting beaten up and kicked in the face shot in my head.

"I- I n- need to-..." I couldn't focus on making normal sentences anymore. I grabbed the hand that was holding my arm and I squeezed in it as hard as I could. "Pl- please". I said while a tear escaped my eye.

Then suddenly the air got stuck in my throat and I started breathing heavily. Even though I know there is nothing blocking my airway, I had trouble breathing.

I felt Chen's touch on me from that night, I see the room that I was in, I feel the pain I gotten from that night. I hear my voice bagging them to stop, but they didn't.
"Stop... please." My crying voice said when Chen started kissing my neck. Chen didn't listen and kept kissing me. Suddenly I felt his hand glide underneath my shirt. "Ss-stop." I bagged and started struggling.
The memory played in my mind. I was in a whole other universe right now.

"Jungkook-ah I don't think she's faking this". I heard Namjoon say. Right after that my body started to feel heavy, because of the anxiousness off what will happen next. My body and mind are over reacting about this situation but I can't do anything about it. This also happened a few times after the accident had happened.

I couldn't hold my own body weight anymore, soon after that my body started to drop to the ground. But I couldn't fall all the way down because I felt Jungkook holding me up at my waist and arm.

"What's happening to her?" I heard Hoseok ask.

"What do you think it is?!" Namjoon said. "She is having a panic attack." He explained with a calm voice.

"Why?" I heard Seokjin ask.

"I don't know, just get her to a place with less people staring our way." I heard Namjoon say. After that I couldn't concentrate on their conversation.

I felt my body get lifted up by Jungkook and saw them taking me to an empty study room. I had still trouble with breathing normally when we got into the classroom. I heard them talking but everything they were saying couldn't be processed into my head. The only voice which I could hear clearly was Namjoons, for some type of reason his voice made my mind relax.

"Get her some water". I heard Namjoon say. Jungkook let go of me and I fell down to the grond. I felt down on my knees and I was leaning down on my arms to hold myself up.

I suddenly felt a body next to me and I felt a bottle of water getting pushed to my lips. With a lot of energy I looked up at the one holding the bottle of water in front of my face.

I saw a blurry Jimin next to me. My mind started panicing even more when I saw his face. Out of panic I pushed him away. "Don't toch me!" I scream and crawled backwards until I felt the wall hit my back. I started crying as a maniac.

I pulled my legs up and hugged them tight. I put my head into my my arms which where hugging my legs. I was now rolled up as a ball in the corner of the room and was crying my eyes out.

I heard some panicing voices but I couldn't understand one word they were saying.

Until I heard Namjoons voice again. "I think we should take her back home." I heard Namjoons say. I heard some other words getting exchanged and soon after that I felt my body getting lifted up.

It was Taehyung who was caring me. They started walking trough the hallway, there where no sounds coming from here so I suppose that the classes already began.

I was still crying and tried to push Taehyung away from me, but it didn't have any impact on him. When we got outside I saw them getting into the cars. Taehyung started putting me down on the backseats next to Jimin.

When I noticed that I started struggling and panicing. "No! No! Let me go!" I said while crying hard. I tried to push Taehyung as hard as I could, so that he would stop putting me down in the backseat. It didn't work, when he put me down on the seat anyways he let go of me.

Flashes from that night started flashing in front of my eyes again, which made my airways feel tighter. The feeling of being powerless and the thoughts that I couldn't do anything took over my body for a second.

"Get me out!" I said crying out. I started to punch Taehyung on his chest, so that he wouldn't be in the way of the car entrance. As soon as he took a step behind him, I took my change and got out of the car.

I just stood outside and was crying. I don't want to be around Jimin, he brings back the memories in me.

"Yaah what's wrong with you?!" Taehyung said annoyed.

"I- I can't be with him." I said while pointing towards Jimin. My body was shaking badly.

"Don't clown around, get in." He said annoyed and tried to push me back into the car.

"No! No! No." I said crying.

"Taehyung-ah stop it. Can't you see she is panicing because of Jimin?" I heard Seokjin say and he then pulled me towards him, away from Taehyung.

"No! She is just clowning around so that she won't get into trouble!" Taehyung said madly.

"She will ride back home with me and Hoseok. You guys will only make it worse." Seokjin said, implying towards the maknaes. He then leaded me towards the car where Hoseok was already sitting in.

I got into the back seat and the whole way home I was just crying my frustration and anxiety away quietly.

I'm afraid of Jimin. His face reminds me about the night of the accident. My mind lost the control off my own body. I'm so ashamed and panicked right now.

———

(A/n)
Thanks guys for your support <3

Sooo.. I'm trying to write some chapters beforehand. But I feel so sad writing them like mean characters :'( They are so nice in reality, but in this book they are like assholes.

Maybe I'm planning on writing another fanfic but then BTS will have a more normal life and they will be kind and loving.
But that won't happen until I finish this book.

Just remember I love them.