Alpha's Blue (BXB)

Chapter Twelve

I knew I was overreacting when the first tear left a wet streak down my cheek. I knew I should stop but a sob escaped past my throat. I had buried myself under the covers and curled around my pillow. I didn't regret what I had said - not for a single second, but it started to feel like the end of the world.

I told myself to stop, I closed my eyes tight to keep the tears in. When that didn't work, I pushed my face against the pillow, but nothing worked. I couldn't stop crying.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I heard the door of my room being knocked.

"Blue? Are you okay?" Grandma's quiet voice came through along with it.

I hurriedly grabbed a few tissues from the box nearby and tried to wipe the evidence of my breakdown. I didn't want her to see me like this.

She had already knocked the door twice by the time I got up on my feet. I opened the door for her and stood in the darkness of my room, hoping it was enough to hide my probably swollen eyes.

I cleared my throat quietly before lying through my teeth. "I'm okay. I fell asleep while studying."

She didn't buy my lie. Instead, she opened the door completely before stepping inside the room and hugging me close to her.

"Marco came by, asking for you." She whispered before resting her cheek on my chest. "He said he doesn't know the whole story, but knew enough to worry about you."

My whole body trembled as I tried to keep my tears from flowing again. I just wanted to sleep and pretend like nothing happened.

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine." I said, keeping my voice low but steady.

"I know you're strong, but the moment it becomes unbearable, you should go back. Graduate, find a job over there and settle down. Leave all the pain behind." She said and released me from her hold. Taking a step back, she moved her hand through my hair. "You're still young. You'll be fine."

I closed my eyes and nodded. That's when I realized that she knew, probably way before me. Maybe this is what she and Marco used to talk about when they thought I wasn't around.

"I'll be fine." More than her, those words were uttered to assure myself. I needed to tell myself that I will be fine, no matter what happens.

Grandma kissed the back of my hands like she used to when I was a kid. The gesture made me feel nostalgic and reminded me of the times when she was the only one who mattered to me. I missed those times.

I hugged her one last time before she left me alone with my thoughts just like I wanted. I convinced myself that I already felt better and forced myself to take a shower and start studying. I needed to take my mind off things for a while.

It wasn't easy to stop my mind from wandering the next few days. But I tried my best to keep myself busy, as busy as I possibly could without having to step out of the house. Although the stress about upcoming exams made focusing on my studies a lot easier and I was grateful for the distraction.

It was the weekend my third week there and the exams were about to start from next to next week. I was pacing the living room with my notes in my hand, trying to memorise them when the doorbell rang. Grandma wasn't home and I was waiting for her with the dinner all ready.

Guessing it was her, I opened the door without looking and found Marco standing there. I ignored the temptation to shut the door in his face and tried to think more maturely. None of what happened was his fault. I had no right to be mad at him or insult him like that.

I opened the door wide enough to let him in. He removed his shoes and wore the spare slippers placed near the door. He walked in until he was standing in the living room, looking around awkwardly.

"Grandma isn't home?" He asked when I passed a glass of water.

I shook my head and gestured for him to take a seat. He complied without another word and emptied the glass.

"I'm here to apologise on Nicolas' behalf." He said, somberly.

"There's no need. Whatever he said was the truth." I shrugged and picked up my notebook again to avoid facing him.

"Can you at least let me know what he said?" Marco requested.

"It doesn't matter. The pack doesn't need me." I replied while trying to look like I could concentrate on my notes.

"Are you kidding me?" He asked as if in disbelief and let out a frustrated sigh. "It's not about the pack, Blue. We are doing just fine even without a Luna."

He stood up and started pacing around. "Is that what he said? That the pack doesn't need you?" He didn't even wait for me to accept or deny it. "Of course he did. That idiot."

He paced for a few more times before sitting down again. "Look, our Alpha is an idiot. A complete idiot, okay? I swear, he could be dying but he'd still worry about the rest of us. And that's exactly why he needs you." He pulled the notebook from my lap and grabbed my hands in his. "Please, we need you."

"Just tell me what he said. I promise I'll make him realize his mistake." His words sounded like a plea and his voice held clear desperation.

When he pleaded again, I couldn't keep up the facade anymore. After all, a part of me was still hopeful and Marco's words and pleas were the fuel for my hope.

When grandma came back, she found Marco and I sitting on the couch, planning our next move. It was more of his plan than mine. He was just instructing me what to do and I was trying not to back out. Honestly, it didn't sound like the best plan I've ever heard and I doubted it was going to work.

We decreased our voice significantly when grandma approached and decided to discuss the rest through texts. I helped grandma with her shoes and handbag and she asked Marco to stay for the dinner. Marco politely refused before getting up and leaving.

"So, is everything okay now?" Grandma asked after putting down her chopsticks.

"Marco has a plan. I don't think it's gonna work, but I'm gonna have to try it." I got up with my hands full of dishes and piled them in the sink.

"Why not?"

I turned around to face her and shrugged. "I don't know, grandma. He doesn't seem like he'll care."

She came over to ruffle my hair. "If he doesn't, that'll be his loss, not yours."

I gave her a smile in response before turning my attention back to the dishes.

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