falling [asanoya/ennotana] 🌦

i care about you more than you know

"here, walk with me, and we'll talk. the distraction will make it easier."

his gaze softened as he stood and walked toward me.

"thanks, ennoshita, i appreciate it."

"ugh, so formal, we've known each other for long enough, i think you can call me chikara."

"fine, if you call me ryū."

"deal."

"neat, let's get out of here then... chikara."

i smirked.

"alright, ryū, let's go."

we walked out into the fresh, cold, night air and as we walked, i noticed ryū fidgeting with his hands a bit.

"hey."

he looked at me.

"noya is gonna be fine, you know him, he's strong. he'll get through this."

he nodded.

"yeah..."

i frowned.

"there's something else on your mind, isn't there?"

he stopped fidgeting for a second before resuming.

"actually, yeah. i'm worried about noya and everything, but i'm also kind of annoyed at him."

"so you might say you're an-noya-ed at him?"

he stared at me.

"bro."

"okay, sorry, that was bad. why are you annoyed at him?"

he sighed, and turned back to look at the path in front of us again.

"well, a couple days ago, he brought up something that's really been bothering me, and i can't stop thinking about it... and he said if it was an issue, we could talk about it, but- well, this sounds selfish. whatever, i'll say it anyway. he's been spending so much time stressing about asahi that he hasn't brought it up again, and i've been stressed about this, but of course i'm the one he comes to when he's upset and needs advice. and obviously i'm happy to listen and help him, but i just wish he would do the same for me, you know?! i just feel kind of alone in this thing..."

i hummed in sympathy.

"yeah, i get that. maybe you should tell him that it's been bothering you?"

"yeah, i said something along those lines at lunch before the rest of you guys showed up."

i nodded, wondering what this big issue could be to upset him to this extent.

"good for you, then. by the way... i don't mean to pry, but what is it that he brought up that's bothering you so much?"

he flinched slightly, and sighed heavily.

"ah, right, sorry. it's kind of a big secret? like... i've barely told anyone, so... it's not that i don't trust you! i just need time to work things out before i go around telling everyone, you know?"

my heart leaped in my chest at his words, but i quickly quelled it. stupid brain getting my hopes up- it's not like he's gonna say he's gay or anything. oh, why did i have to fall for a straight boy?

"that's understandable. some things are easier to figure out when you don't tell a lot of people. i personally find that sometimes it's best to do that because what if you tell someone one thing, then figure out it's actually another thing, and you have to go back and amend your mistake? that's always embarrassing."

he stiffened slightly.

"yeah... it is."

we walked for a couple minutes in silence, as the conversation died off and neither of us had anything new to say.

"well... this is me," i said once we reached an intersection that led to my street.

he nodded.

"goodnight, chikara."

"goodnight, ryūnosuke."

i savored how the name felt as i said it, and the amazing look on his face when i said it, before turning to walk away into the setting sun.

a/n: here's a tiny bit of tanaka pov at the end,,, as a treat 🥺💕

.tanaka.

god, this silence was awful. it was deafening and beyond awkward. i shouldn't have said anything in the first place. what if he figured out what was bothering me?

what if he never wanted to talk to me again? well, that's a little extreme, he's too nice for that, but...

"well... this is me."

i abruptly stopped and looked at him, a bit disoriented after having my train of thought interrupted, before i realized this is where we went our separate ways.

i nodded.

"goodnight, chikara."

"goodnight, ryūnosuke."

my eyes widened a bit and a blush began forming on my face as he waved at me. hardly anyone called me by my entire first name, unless i was in trouble.

but this time... the way he said it... i didn't mind so much.

i watched as he turned and walked away, seeming almost like some fantasy character walking away into the sunset.

i sighed happily, and my chest felt all fuzzy.

oh, shit, could this mean...?

no.

well...

i suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if...

i started to run home, needing more time to think. always needing more time.