reputation : nomin

🐦 : chapter one

•••••••••

for jeno, the first time he saw jaemin will always be embedded deep inside of his mind.

they were times when jeno would purposely closed his eyes and just picture the exact scene where he first landed his sight on jaemin.

that night when jaemin walked through the house wearing a very casual yet exquisite clothing, jeno felt like wanting to shout how good he looked but he figured that it might humiliate both him, jaemin and hyunjin, who's the party host.

he remembered all too well the next thing that happened. how can he not? that night was memorable. for jeno, as that was his first party he ever attended and for jaemin, for that one night was the start of his nightmares, the beginning of his tragedy.

jaemin was wearing his famous smile killer that could light everybody's mood and it did, at least to jeno it did.
those smiles, jeno thought he could stare at it forever. it could be the first thing he'll see every morning and last thing he'll see when he faces death.

" you have a crush on na jaemin? "

jeno glared at donghyuck for interrupting him staring at the pretty boy. just like him, donghyuck also had a cup of alcohol in his hand. the content inside barely reduced.

jeno was sure that almost or even all these people partying and getting wasted are underage and that includes him and donghyuck yet this is a party after all, you don't want to cut the fun, right? or at least that's what his friend argued.

‘ fun ’ jeno and donghyuck had entirely different definition of fun. jeno would rather be in his room, tucked in a thick and warm blanket while reading a thriller book yet here he was. spending his last weekend before school year starts together with all these wasted youth.

" no. why do you think i have a crush on him? "

okay, that's wrong. jeno shouldn't asked that kind of question, especially to donghyuck. donghyuck was not stupid and blind. he probably knew about his friend's little admiration to the school's smiling sunshine.

a little admiration. nothing more. jeno wouldn't say it's a crush. he didn't have any romantic feeling towards the younger one. yes, he liked his eyes. yes, he liked his smiles yet jeno never had any urge to kiss those lips of na jaemin. he never wanted to date na jaemin. he just simply liked those certain physical features of the latter. he just admired him, no romantic feelings involved.

nevertheless, whether it's a little admiration or infatuation still jeno panicked a little. he knew how donghyuck's mind worked. he already suffered enough last year when donghyuck endlessly teased him to siyeon who, jeno would not lie, he found pretty.

he absentmindedly took a sip in his own cup. sweats are visibly forming on his forehead. he immediately regretted even coming to this boring party. why did he agreed to this again? he should be in his room now sleeping not standing in a house full of students who's too careless to even consider what will going to happen when they woke up this morning.

" i don't know. good you're not. pretty boy already got himself a lover "

jeno wanted to ask donghyuck what he meant by that yet even before he can open his mouth, the sight of jaemin and hyunjin kissing caught his attention.

did it breaks jeno's heart?

yes, yes it did. a little.

not because he liked na jaemin, okay? he just thinks that jaemin deserved way too better than a hwang hyunjin.

" a very typical love story. the good one fell in love with the bad one. happy ending was never an option for this kind of relationship " donghyuck muttered, shaking his head. it looked like he knew a lot of things about them and it irked jeno's curiosity.

hwang hyunjin. jeno knew him. most of the students in their school knew him too. not personally but sometimes you don't really need to know a person for a very long time just to know how they are as a human being.

he's dangerous, was the only thing that runs repeatedly in his mind that night.

he questioned the many possible reasons as to maybe why jaemin was dating this kind of guy but jeno never really knew a thing about love. he has never experienced it.

nor did he really knew na jaemin.

they never had a proper conversation before. jaemin doesn't know him. jaemin probably doesn't even remember that they once shared a class together when they are in 7th grade.

jeno watched as the two stopped kissing and instead they began talking and they're laughing as if hyunjin really said a very good joke. jeno would bet that it's not that good. jaemin was just being an angel. not wanting to humiliate his boyfriend in front of many crowds.

" stop staring at them. you look like you want to murder hyunjin "

well, yes. jeno wanted to murder hyunjin but he's a good person. he would never do that even though there was an enough reason for him to do so.

when jeno said he knew hyunjin, he really did. not of who he was but rather because of how he acts. there were a lot of times when hyunjin would purposely hit his head and then he would jokingly protest “ my hands slipped. sorry ” there were some times when hyunjin would force him to do his projects. always promising him that it would be the last time yet another request will follow the very next day.

reminiscing those moments made jeno's stomach flipped. coming to this party was a big regret. even though hyunjin probably doesn't care about jeno coming to his house to party or yet he doesn't even know that jeno was in here.

" hyuck, where's mark? can we go home now? " jeno pleaded. sweat dripping from his forehead. suddenly, the whole room feels so small and the noise become unbearable.

guilt was building inside of him. he doesn't want to drag donghyuck down with him. obviously, the latter was having fun yet jeno doesn't know what to do. with his thoughts spiraling downwards and his body shaking a little bit. he needed any help that he could get from anyone.

" uhmm... o-okay... i'll get mark... c-calm down first jeno okay? " donghyuck tried to comfort his friend. he's not aware of the past between jeno and hyunjin, that's why when he insisted jeno to come with him to this party, he doesn't know that he's indirectly serving jeno to his fears.

minutes after, mark came and offered to get them home since he's the only one who had a car.

that night, jeno left the house in silence.

if only he knew what will going to happen. if only he knew the nightmares caused by that one night. he probably wouldn't want to leave. not without jaemin.

🌸